The Emotion of Emotion Scott Shaw

The Emotion of Emotion

Scott Shaw

On the spiritual path the concept of the human condition of emotions becomes a complicated issue. This is based in the fact virtually all of the eastern-based schools of philosophy detail that emotions are a creation of the thinking mind. As such, they are not real or valid - simple a manifestation of the lower-self. For this reason it is taught that emotion must be dominated into submission, until they no longer exist.

With this as a basis of philosophy, for an untold number of centuries zealots have attempted to tame their emotion - believing them to be wrong and less than holy. But, this concept must be put to the test if one truly wishes to reach the higher realms of human consciousness.

The first thing that we must look at is the root of emotions. Do all humans have them? Yes. Are we born with them? Yes. Are they exhibited from our first days of life forward? Yes. Therefore, as has now been proven, emotions are a condition of life. With this being the case, by their very definition, they are an irrefutable element of human life and, therefore, cannot be overruled as some form of invalid or lower consciousness.

This being stated, there are both positive emotions and negative emotions. Whereas positive emotions are self-fulfilling, negative emotions, on the other hand, are the primary cause of human misery. Why? Because, if you are not feeling the way you want to feel, receiving what you feel you should be receiving, then the negative emotion of unhappiness is embraced. And, this emotion has the potential to not only devastate your life, but the lives of all those around you.

If we look at the concept of negative emotions from a psychological perspective, we see that it is understood that negative emotion are kept in checked by a combination of our societal programming, our conscious, and our own force of personal will. But, in each of our lives there have been moments where emotions have gotten the better of us. We have all cried over the loss of loved ones or lost hallowed possessions. We have all been made angry by the unconscious acts of others. We have all felt hurt when our emotional needs and desires have not been met. Most of us perceiver and make our way through these time periods - feeling the emotions and then moving forward, without causing harm or discomfort to others. But, there are those, whose emotions are not in check and they act out, beyond the normal realms of acceptability, as they are unable to control their emotions.

Why do some people step beyond the boundaries of the normal exhibition of emotions? There are several reasons. Mostly, it is based in the fact that from an early age forward, the people who behave in this fashion did not develop the techniques needed to control the expression of what they were feeling. And, from this, they learned they were, in fact, able to control the emotions of other people and in some cases actually control the entire lives of others by acting out their emotional upheavals. From this, they came to gain a sense of misplaced power over others -- all be it based from a very negative perspective.
The simple fact being, yes, people will give into the whims of others when they are expressing their emotions in an overt, abnormal manner. But, this is not based in caring about the individual. Instead, it is based in the pacification of a situation -- so that the person who is witnessing this style of negative behavior can consciously move away from the person throwing the emotional fit.

Manipulation
The use of abnormal emotions is, in fact, the basis for the science of manipulation. For why does anyone want to manipulate anyone or any situation? Because they want to gain a desired result from that person or that situation. In many cases, due to the misaligned psychological perspective of the person attempting to manipulate a situation, they base their actions upon their own emotions.

It must be understood that manipulation is a very refined science. The fact of the matter is, however, many people who have developed the ability to use manipulation as a tool to achieve their own psychological ends, do not ever understand what they are doing or how they are achieving it, they simply have come to understand that by acting in a certain way, saying certain things, they will get their desired end result. Some, on the other hand, are very aware of what they are doing and how they are doing it. For this reason, you must remain very conscious when you are dealing with an individual who bases their life upon emotional manipulation.

Anger and cruel words is an obvious tool of manipulation. It is learned very early in life that if you behave in an angered manner, in many cases, you will be able to take control over a situation and get what you want. This is the primary tool that parents use in the control of their young children. And, this is the source-point for where this style of emotional manipulation is learned.

People who were subjected to parents who were very verbally and physically demeaning of their actions, their looks, or their choices, during their childhood, are also those who were schooled, from a very early age, to use the manipulation of anger. It is very common that by criticizing a person, "Putting them down," if you will, that person will be manipulated into accepted the desires of the person who is unleashing the negativity. This too, is based in the fact that many people, during their young lives, were indoctrinated into a belief system that they should make people in a position of power happy. And, by an individual saying demeaning words to a person, they are hoping to establish themselves into a position of power over another. But, it is you, who will or will not allow this happen.

Emotional manipulation also becomes a much more refined science when it is employed from the other end of the spectrum; i.e. compliments. At its most rudimentary level, people who are courting are using emotional manipulation, "You are beautiful." "I love your hair." "I love your eyes." "You make me feel so special." But, more than simply the obvious levels of this style of manipulation, people use much more refined techniques of emotional manipulation. For example, they many compliment what a person has achieved, or how impressive it was that they overcame specific obstacles in their life. Or, from an even more refined perspective, they describe a person's life to them as if it were a tale of great worthiness. However the manipulation card is played, manipulation is simply used as a tool to gain a desired dominance over the person. This dominance may be wanted for any number of reasons: friendship, sex, financial gains, access to people or position, etc. But, at its root, it is based in one thing, emotion. And, emotion, used in this manner, is a destructive element on the pathway to elevated consciousness. This is true for the person using it and for the individual who buys into the manipulation.

The question can then be ask, "What should one do when they find themselves in the realms of manipulation?" There are several things you can do. One, you can just walk away. Two, you can explain to the person that you see what they are attempting to do. Three, you can observe what they are doing, from an enlightened perspective, and simply let them play out their life melodrama while not becoming engulfed in what they have to say. The choice is yours. But, what is essential is that you do not fall prey to their techniques of manipulation, no matter how refined they may be.

Verbal Conflict
Similar to those who use manipulation, the case of people who intentionally start verbal conflicts are also attempting to take control over a situation or another person's life by the use of emotion. Certainly, we have all encountered people like this. People who attack with words and agitation at a moments notice over the most benign subjects or passing statements. They feel that what another person is saying or feeling is rudimentarily invalid. From this, they feel they have the right to express their emotion in the most violent manner possible.

Now, whatever psychological motivation: a bad childhood, a bad adulthood, or an unhappy life may spawn this type of behavior in a person, it does one thing and that is to attempt to make everyone they encounter uncomfortable. In essence, what they are trying to do, by acting out in this manner, is they are attempting to shift and then control the emotions of those around them. They have learned that by behaving in this way, most people will simply let them rant and rave and become quite. From this, they gain a sense of misplaced power over the situation or the person.

The reality, from a spiritual perspective is, if you encounter a person like this on their playing field - that is to say if you allow them to drag you into the argument, then they have won - at least from their warped perspective. So, it is up to you if you want to fight or to walk away. If you fight, your emotions will be stimulated and war will equal more war. If you walk away, however, then the person is left to their own solitary mental war. Or, if you are a very focused person, you can simply let them ramble what ever it is they feel they have to say, laugh it off, and move along on your own life-path. Your choice...

The Emotion of Emotion
You see, we live an emotion-based existence. And, the emotion of emotion is one of the primary motivating factors for all forms of human activity. Most people are so lost in nursing their emotional well-being at all time, however, that the majority of people do not understand the true essence of emotion - emotions are emotional.

Vivid emotions, particularly negative emotions, cause your blood pressure to rise, hormones to race through your body, and your heart rate to increase. From this, you become stimulated. This emotional stimulation can become very addictive. And, this addiction is what separates the uncontrolled emotions of the average person from the emotions of those who walk the spiritual path.

It is certain that we all have encountered situations that have upset us. It is also certain that we have all sat around and thought about those situations, reliving and rethinking them. From this, all of those negative emotions were relived and our bodies and mind were pumped full of negative stimulation - though it was negative, it was very stimulating.

What happens with people who embrace a life based in negative emotional encounters is that they become addicted to the sensations attached to these encounters. From this, they go out and recreate similar situation that will give them the fix of their drug of choice - negative emotion.

What is the answer? Emotions are natural. They are a byproduct of life. They cannot be alleviated. If they could be, then monks would have found a way to do so many generations ago. As we cannot separate ourselves from emotions, we should not try. But, as people walking the pathway to higher consciousness what we can do is to understand the basis of emotions and know that they are an integral part of us. Knowing and accepting this, we may then chart a course for our lives that embraces the positive aspects of emotions and keeps us separated from the control hands of negative emotions and those who do not understand the true essence of existence.

Let go of the negative. When it is encountered, witness it but do not become controlled by it.

What you feel is your choice.

Choose your emotions. This is Zen.

Scott Shaw.com