The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

The Projection of Your Expectations

I had an interesting flashback the other day. It was all based in the fact that a couple of weeks ago I came home to find that a young girl had run into my car that was parked in front of where I live. Lucky it had just happened when I arrived or she may have been in the wind. She claimed it was due to her missing the brake pedal. Maybe… My guess is she was texting. But, whatever… Nonetheless I had to take my car to the body shop, have it repaired, and deal with all of that kind of stuff no one really wants to deal with…

Anyway, I had just got my car back. I was in a parking lot walking towards it and I remembered this situation that took place with a friend of mine back in the 1970s.

Back then, for all of us who walked the spiritual path, we did all kinds of weird things to experience life, get in touch with nature, and bring us to a closer harmony with Self and Reality. In any case, he and a couple of his friends had headed up to Oregon to pick apples. I was still in high school or I may have gone along, as well. The difference between him and I was that I was already closely aligned with Swami Satchidananda and the Integral Yoga Institute, so I had a home. Plus, picking apples never really appealed that much to me anyway…

In any case, they set off in his car. Apparently, his friend was driving it one night and ran into a guardrail on the highway. When they had finished their mission, they got back to L.A., and my friend expected his friend to fix the damage. My first thought was that is kind of uncaring and egocentric. I mean, they were on a mission together and sometimes shit happens. I mean, I had a friend run into my motorcycle one time with his bike when we were on Sunset Blvd. I never expected him to pay to replace the gas tank on my bike that got damaged.

Anyway, a short time later my friend went off to Central America, as there as apparently some spirituality going on down there. He left his friend a new after-market fender and expected his car repaired when he returned. He returned and nada. His friend hadn’t done anything. Then, as in my moment of flashback, I thought, “How could you expect your friend to know how to remove a damaged front fender and replace it with a new one? I wouldn’t know how to do that. I don’t think most people would.” Yet, this man had his expectation—as unrealistic as these expectations may have been. In fact, he was quite incensed that his friend had done nothing.

This is the thing about life and about expectations; people project their expectation onto others. They project these expectations onto others and few ever consider if they are realistic or not. Few ever consider if the other individual even possesses the physical abilities or the emotional comprehension to get the expectation accomplished.

Think about your own life, what do you expect from others? What have you expected from others? What have you done and how have you behaved when other people have or have not lived up to your expectations?

How you relate to others—what you expect from others—how you behave when others either do or do not give you what you expect will come to be one the primary definition of your life.

If you expect nothing, you are free. If you expect nothing, then the other person is also free. But, if you expect something, all you have done is to set a never-ending path of satisfactions and/or disappointments into motion. You have also set a pattern of elation or guilt onto the life of someone else. Thus, whatever you expect sets a continuous corridor of karma into motion. Again, if you expect nothing everything and everyone becomes free.

Do you want to be free? If you do, then hold no expectations.