The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

When You’ve Said Too Much

I think we’ve all had those experiences when we’ve told somebody something: we thought we could trust them, we thought they may like to know, we thought what we said may help them and then it all turns around and we wish we didn’t say anything at all.
As far as I am concerned, I tend to be a very conversative person. If someone asks me a question, I’m happy to answer. If they give me their opinion, I am happy to give them mine. I am also very truthful. I believe I make my statements in the most honest manner possible.
Everyone is not like that, however. A lot of people want you to say something so they can use what you say against you. Have you ever had someone ask you something, then they turn your words or your intentions around to make it sound like you are jerk or a bad person? That has happened to me. And, it’s just not right.
All truth begins with each of us. It begins with how we listen, how we speak, what we say, why we say it, and who we say it to.
Take a moment and think about a time when someone took something you said and did something bad, negative, or untrue with your words. Why did that happen?
Now, you can sit around and ponder the why of what somebody else does forever. Maybe you will come up with a conclusion, maybe you will not. But, though you can speculate about why someone else did what they did, the one thing you can be certain of is, if you take the time to investigate, you can figure out why you did what you did. Why did you say what you said to that person?
The one thing that most people never do is to investigate, within themselves, why they say what they say. They just say it. For the most part, that is fine—let the words fall where they may. But, then there are those times when your words are used against you. Is it the person’s fault for taking your meaning out of context and shaping it to their own ends, or is it your fault for speaking what you spoke in the first place?
Now, turn this around. Have you ever taken the words someone else spoke and used those words to give yourself an advantage in whatever it is you hoped to accomplish in a given moment?  If you have, then you are culprit in the situation. You are the sinner. Because by taking the words of someone else and forming them to create your own desired narrative, you have removed the truth of what that other person has spoken. Thus, you have destroyed the truth in all you are trying to actualize.   
So, what can we do about this? Well… I guess we could be silent. But, for most of us, that is not going to happen. The thing you must try to do is, however, be careful who you speak to. You don’t have to speak to everyone. You don’t have to answer everybody’s questions? I know, I know… That is very hard. I know it is for me. Because, like I said, I tend to be a conversative individual. Moreover, I tend to trust people—trust them when I should not. I give everybody the benefit of the doubt. But, all that has to happen is one person taking your words out of context or shifting them to their own redefined meaning and all kinds of chaos can be unleashed.
Number one, don’t be that person. Don’t be someone who uses someone else’s words to your own advantage.
Number two, decide to speak words whose meaning cannot be alter. That’s a hard one though… People twist and turn things all the time. But, you gotta stay conscience and try.
Ultimately, you just have to be strong enough, in yourself, that even if someone turns your words around and stretches them to their own definition, you will not let that hurt you. Because, you cannot control the mind of anyone else. Particularly, a person who descends to the level where they feel it is okay to remake the words of another individual. Sure, that’s messed up. Sure, that illustrated what a low level of human consciousness they possess. But, you can’t fight everyone. You can’t change the mind of a person who does not want to change their mind or their modus operandi.
So… Say what you mean. Be clear. Be precise. Because if someone can turn your words around, they possible will do just that.