The Scott Shaw Blog

Be Positive

Who They Were Compared to Who They Became

Time progresses in all of our lives and, hopefully, we allow ourselves to become better versions of ourselves. Sure, there are those people who never evolve. Maybe they speak poorly, maybe they eat poorly, maybe they embrace a negative lifestyle, maybe they do bad things to other people, and the list goes on… But again, hopefully, that is not how most of us move through our lives.

The thing that I find interesting is the way one person views another individual. I always find this to be a unique situation. Each person comes to a conclusion about that other person and then, whether right or wrong, they think what they think and they project their own individualized understanding onto others about that person. They also define their own actions in regard to that person by this definition. But, what if their individualized definition is wrong? What if the person they are defining has changed? What if that person has moved forward from being who they used to be to becoming what they have become? What then becomes of that definition? Answer, it becomes wrong. But, is the individual who cast that definition evolved enough to change their mind?

Having personally observed some people genuinely change as they have moved through their life has allowed me to not only observe this process but also come to possibly understand some of its motivations. Certainly, as a person gets older, their life understandings have the potential to change. This is especially the case if a physical change occurs in their life, like falling love, getting married, or having a child. This also may occur if something traumatic happen to them. From these motivating factors, and others, their priorities change. This also may occur as a person moves closer to death. For some, they decide that the way they used to be may not be the best way to be remembered or that they need to become a better person as they are close to meeting their god face-to-face. Whatever the cause, yes, some people do change, they do evolve, and I have witnessed it. Have you witnessed another person’s process of change?

Now, take a moment and think about your own life. Have you allowed yourself to change and to evolve? If so, have you done this consciously or has it been forced onto you?

Again, some people evolve and become better versions of themselves and some do not. Where do you stand in this equation? Are you working on guiding yourself towards become the better you or are you simply passing through life, doing what you do, until you can do it no more? The answer to this question is truly a defining factor for who and what you are to become. What are you becoming?

I have known people, as I have passed through my years, who, in the past, used to be pretty bad people, who did some pretty bad things. In one case I can think of this man who was moving closer to his death and, as many people do at this stage of their life, he became very religious. He was re-baptized into his Christian faith. He believed, from this process, all of his sins were washed away. He assumed that all the bad things he had done were eliminated. But, how could that be? All of the people he hurt were still hurt. They were still living their life, at least in part, based upon the pain he had inflicted.

This is the thing; change does not only involve you. It involves all that you have done. Yes, you may become the better you. But, if you are a person who has done some damage, if that damage is not rectified, then the only change that has changed is what you will do next. In your wake you have left hurt and pain. If you don’t fix that, then what has truly changed in your life’s evolution?

We all can and should change. We should all always strive to become the best/better person that we can be. If you don’t try, you are not trying. But remember, change does not only involve you. It involves all that you have done. If you are not willing to admit this to yourself—if you are not willing to undo any bad that you have done, you have not changed at all. Then, though your definition of you may be altered, everyone else’s definition of you will remain the same.