The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

Late into the Late Night

I woke up after having fallen asleep watching the movie, Jackie Brown. I’m sure this is an AGAIN situation, as it is one of those great pieces of cinema that they play time-after-time-after-time on the late night networks. And, as I tend to stay up way to late, it is not uncommon that I fall asleep in front of the TV, waking up with my legs in pain and a body that hurts. Trust me when I tell you, there is a high price to pay if you have lived a life defined by the martial arts.

Anyway, Pam Grier was always one of my deep creative fantasies. Beautiful and a great actress—coming up in the time that I did and doing all of those great Blaxploitation, and otherwise, cinema epics. I always wished I could created a film with her. And, I wished that long before Jackie Brown. In fact, I wished I could work with so many other great actors and actresses from that era. I did get to work with Don Stroud and Karen Black. What GREAT actors and people! Now, so many of that era are gone—so many of the people I wished I could have worked with have left their life behind. I often wonder if I were to be offered a gig where I had the kind of money to pay the people I would truly want to work with, who would I call-up as so many of the Greats are gone. Think of even the Zen Filmmaking Crew, so many of them are now gone; Julie Strain and William Smith just this year. Like the Buddhist chant goes, Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasom Gate, Bodhi Swahi. Gone, gone, gone to the other shore beyond, gone to the great awakening.

But, back to the late night… I’m one of those people who pays way too much to get all of those Out There networks, that show oh so many movies that you (meaning I) don’t really want to watch. I have millions of movies and shows offered to me and yet I find it so hard to find something worth watching. Movies, or pieces thereof, I’ve just seen way too many times… Movies like Black Hawk Down, (one of the best orchestrated movies ever), I still don’t know how they achieved that, Casino, Scarface, Boogie Nights, Saturday Night Fever, Road House, and Jackie Brown. Movies like that; they’re on all the time…

Speaking of Road House… I used to end up at auditions with his brother, Don Swayze all the time. I guess it was when they wanted that wayward looking White guy type. I imagine he got a lot more of those parts than I did, as he was who he was. Me, I eventually stopped going to additions. I mean, what was the point? If you want me for a film or a TV spot or a commercial, you can just let me know. Maybe I will take it, maybe I won’t. But, all of those frantic drives across the city in a rush, hoping I will get there on time, through traffic and otherwise, just to take a shot at a dream that you (I) will never get—a possible dream being handed to you… …Dreams that will never come true. The stories I could tell you… It’s just not worth it.

But again, here/there I was, waking up after falling asleep to a great film, late into the late night.

Maybe this is poetry, I don’t know? Maybe this is inspiration for a dream, I don’t know? Maybe this is simply being reminded of something I can never live? Maybe… It’s all a big maybe? But, falling asleep and then waking up to a great piece of cinema, with your aging bones hurting… I don’t know? Maybe it means something other than nothing. I will pretend that it does.