The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

Outer Self and the Project of the Inner Self

The moment you meet someone, they form an opinion about you. They do this by looking at what you are wearing, the way you wear your hair, what you say, and if they like the way you look or not. Within just a moment or two they decide who they believe you are and for many/for most they never change their opinion about you. Who they think you are is what they think you are and that is that. But, are you that person? Are you the person you project on the outside or are you something else?

For most of us, we wear the style of clothing that we feel best describes our life, our lifestyle, and our mindset. For most of us, we wear our hair in a manner that makes us feel good about ourselves. For most of us, we speak in the way we were taught to speak further defined by how we wish to be interpreted. But, think about the days that you wear something that you really do not like. Think about the time when you received that bad haircut. Think about the times when you spoke but the words just came out wrong. We have all been there. We have all experienced that. We have all met people during those periods of time. And, from this, people have drawn conclusions about us but where those conclusions correct?

Think about the people you have met as you have passed through your life. Maybe bring one or two of those people into clear focus—people that you actually remember your first meeting. What was you initial impression of them? Then, how much did your impression of them changed over the days, weeks, months, or years that you knew them? Very little, I would imagine. Yes, you may have gotten to know them better, you may have become aware of some of the intricacies of their personality, (good or bad), but did your initial definition of them ever truly change? Probably not.

Most people live in a space of life presentation. They intentionally project to the world how they wish to be viewed. Who a person is becomes defined in their own mind. Within each culture, within each subculture, a person becomes who and what they can become and then they project that self-defined person to the world via clothing, hairstyle, and mostly words.

Think about the priest, what do they wear? They wear a style of clothing that identifies them as a priest. Think about a police officer, they wear a style of clothing that identifies them as a cop. Think about someone who is in the military, they wear a style of clothing that identifies them as a soldier. Yes, what they are on the inside is not necessarily all that they present on the outside, but what they wear defines what they have strived to become and from this they set the definition of their life.

How often do you ask yourself, how does the world perceive me? Do others see you and, by how you look and what you wear, can they draw an instant conclusion about who you truly are?

How often do you truly contemplate how you perceive another person? Do you simply see them and decide who you think they are?

What someone thinks you are becomes the definition conceive in the minds of the people who meet you. But, who you are and why you have arrived at this placement in life is far more complex.

If you do not clearly define yourself to yourself—if you do know truly understand how you arrived at who you are in your own mind can you truly know yourself? Moreover, if you are not a clearly defined person what can people conclude when they draw conclusion about you? This is the same when you meet and draw conclusion about others. Is what they project to the world who and what they truly are? Is who and what they are clearly defined in their own minds or are they simply an imposter attempting to be something they truly are not? Moreover, is what you think a person is truly who they are or is what you think they are simply something that you concluded in your own mind but is far from the truth?

Few people truly contemplate the intricacies of their own life. Few people truly contemplate how they actually arrived at being who they are? Do you? Most people, however, are quick to place the judgment of what they think another person is onto that person—be it right or wrong. Do you?

Life is complex. A person’s life is very complex. If you do not take the time to know who you truly are and why you have arrived at being who you are, how can anyone else ever truly know you because you do not know yourself? If all you do is think you know who a person is—if all you do is judge who you define that person to be than you have negated who that person truly is because you have not gotten to know the true inner them. Thus, all you have done, from a very egocentric mindset, it to judge who you believe them to be.

First, truly come to know yourself. Second, allow people to be who they truly are, and come to actually know them if you wish. Leave behind judgment in both case, and the world; each person, is allowed to be who they are actually meant to be.