The Scott Shaw Blog

Be Positive

Perceptions

So, today, I went to have the second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine pumped into my arm. It was done by this sweet young RN. I believe of the Filipina variety. The kind of girl that send all of those fantasies into motion in your mind. I pulled off my Armani sport coat. Pulled up the sleeve of my shirt. We spoke for a moment or two. She had a smile in her eyes and the look of desire. Though we spoke, I didn’t get to ask her the question that I really wanted to ask her, “How does it feel to give all of these people shots that may save their life and then to never see them again?” I guess I will never get to ask her that question. Like so much of life/like most life fantasies they are seen/they are felt and then they are never to be experienced again.

I was glad to get my second dose. I feel so much safer. So much like there is another chance for tomorrow. The problem is, tomorrow is not like yesterday. Yesterday, when I could travel away. I want/I need to go somewhere out there on the, “Hard Road,” as I have long referred to it. Somewhere deep and distant. Somewhere where life is not/never the same. But, the world is battling the virus. The world is controlled by what China created. And, no one is taking them to task. Everyone blames everyone for everything but no one is placing blame where blame is due. The world/life will never be the same.

I was in the supermarket yesterday. I was speaking to this very nice clerk who handles the self-checkout aisle. She refuses to get the vaccine. An, “Anti-vaxer.” I get it. To each their own. But, all those people who refuse are those who have never seen what this virus can do. They hear it on the news. They watch the visuals. But, they have not known anyone who has been killed by this demon.

Tomorrow, I must go to a funeral. A funeral enacted by China—instigated by the coronavirus.

I used to have a pledge, “No funerals and no weddings.” I mean, so many people spend so much money on their weddings only to get divorced and hate the person they were married to. So many people want so much from their life only to die. It is all way too melodramatic for me. But, life and time and age and family-responsibilities, I must go and witness the demise of someone else being sunk into the ground brought about by the hands of this China-born coronavirus.

Now, you may think I hate China. Actually I love it. I have lived some incredible life journeys within its boarders. Read my books. Read my poetry. I have also seen the darkside. But, the fact of the mater is, China does not love me. They won’t let me back in. But, that is an entirely different tale to tell… Now, with Hong Kong going through what Hong Kong is going through, via the hand’s of Beijing, I fear I will never be able to go back to one of my favorite places on earth. But really, who cares about me anyway? I’m just a guy out here who writes what he feels.

You know, I was planning to write a piece about how certain people expect everyone else to behave in the way they deem appropriate …Certain people want everyone to do what they expect them to do based solely upon the way they receive reality. We’ve all known people like that. They get pissed when we don’t live our life or do the things they think we should. But, I didn’t. This is what I wrote.

So, I’ll finish it off with that perfect look of perfection that RN gave me today before she stuck a needle into my arm. …The dream of that moment of perfect fantasy when you just know something could have jumped off but it did not based in the hard cruel reality of reality where everyone is wearing a mask and way too many people are dying based upon nothing more that the reality of life where you, where I, actually/truly possess no control.