The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

Who Cares About You?

Who cares about? No really, who cares about you? Right now, take a moment and compose a list of people in your mind that you believe actually care about you. Perhaps your list is long. Perhaps you have very few. But, now comes the next, most important step, truly analyze the list of people you have composed in your mind; do each of those people truly care about you and why?

There is the old saying, “Blood is thicker than water.” This saying refers to the fact that people who are of the same family, the same bloodline, will more commonly than not stick together. Sure, there are some family members that just hate each other but it is much more common that even if there is conflict within a family, one member doesn’t really like another relative, that they will remain in close contact throughout their life. In fact, in most families, the various members will instantly step up to help a family member the moment they need it.

Outside of direct family, however, things get more complicated. So again, take a moment and define the people that you believe care about you outside of your direct family. Ask yourself, “Why does that person care about me?” Truly delve into this question. Truly analyses your relationship. Why does that person care about you?

Most commonly, in life, people are drawn to other people via various physical explanations. They like the way they look. They are pretty. They are smart. They can do something for them. They hope to hook up. Being with them will somehow make their life something more than it is without them. But now, think about your own life. Think about someone you once cared about but they are no longer a part of your life. What changed? Why did you let go of your caring? Most probably, they did something you didn’t like or they did not give you something that you wanted. Maybe, they weren’t the person you initially thought they were or they simply left you behind by one method or another. But, did that person really change or was it simply your perception of them that changed? Why do you no longer care about them?

Now, flip this around. Think about someone that you believed cared about you but has now exited your life. Why did they go? What did you do to drive them away? Or, did they simply reinterpret who you were and what your relationship was and decided it was not beneficial to them so they are gone?

People base their caring about what’s in it for them. Again, truly think about it, why do you care about anyone? Again, truly analyze, why does anyone care about you?

If you can be honest with yourself, if you do not allow yourself to fall into relationship illusion, you can chart your path through your life without falling prey to the broken heart syndrome—where someone leaves you alone and heart broken and you do not know why.

People do what they do based upon what is good for themselves. Though many will deny this fact… Though many will lie to themselves about this fact… Though many will tell others that it is not true and they are in it for them… No person remains in a relationship unless there is a need to do so. Yes, this need may be truly messed up, with all kinds of psychological complications attached, but people do what they do to meet a need that they have. Again, why do the people you believe care about you, care about you? If you cannot be honest enough with yourself to truly answer this question, then you are left with a life based in a belief system that can be shattered at any moment simply by a person changing their mind about you.