The Scott Shaw Blog

Be Positive

The Pain Nobody Sees

Think about a time when you hurt yourself. Maybe you sprained your ankle, maybe you stubbed your toe, maybe you slept in a weird position and you woke up with a tweaked muscle. You felt that pain. Maybe you told a family member or a close friend about what was going on with you or maybe you told no one. The point being, you felt that pain but the vast amount of the surrounding world did not even know what you were feeling.

Expand this thought a little bit. Think about a time when someone hurt you. Maybe they broke your heart, maybe they said or did something that embarrassed you, maybe they told a lie about you, maybe they did something else that hurt the who you are and/or the evolution of your life, or maybe they punched you in the face. They did this, you are the one experiencing the emotional or physical pain, but no one else knows what you are feeling. Even if you told someone, they are not the one feeling what you are feeling, so can they truly even understand?

Look around the world. Contemplate all the people. Now ask yourself, how many of those people are feeling physical pain right now? How many of those people are experiencing emotional pain right now?

When you are feeling pain, you are feeling pain. You know it. You experience it. But, no one else knows that pain.

When the person sitting next to you is in pain, they feel that pain, but do you? Do you even care? Can you even care if you do not know they are in pain?

Most people, when they are feeling physical or emotion pain are brought to a heightened state of awareness defined by that pain. That pain defines that moment of their life and it may be all that they are thinking about. It defines the who they are. But, who else cares about it? As no one else is feeling that pain; as most likely very few other people even know about it, if anyone at all, does it define the reality of anyone else? No.

When you are experiencing pain, how do you handle that pain? How you handle that pain comes to define the who and the what you are.

When you cause someone else pain, how do you handle their pain? How you handle that pain comes to define the who and the what you are.

Most people, when they cause someone else pain, care very little. The reason for this is that they are too lost in their own suchness. Though they may say, “Sorry,” but as they are not experiencing it—as they are not feeling it, they don’t really care what they have done.

Honestly, how about you? How do you behave when you cause someone else pain?

Honestly, how about you? How do you behave when someone else has caused you pain?

Hopefully, your life will not become defined by pain. …Either the pain you feel or the pain you have caused. But, we all feel it. It will come to all of us in varying degrees. It is what you do with that pain that will come to define the who you are. It was what you do for the pain you have caused others that will come to define the what you are.

So, next time you are feeling some sort of pain, allow this to be a motivating factor for you to look outside of yourself and realize and remember that there are people all across the globe feeling pain. You are not the only one. Just as they can’t feel your pain, you can’t feel theirs but you can be aware enough to realize that you are not the only one in the jigsaw puzzle of life who is in pain. …You are not the only one who matters.

Expand your mind outside of yourself, care enough to care, and maybe your pain and the pain of someone else will become at least slightly diminished.