The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

You Can’t Make Someone Feel

I believe that each of us have encountered situations in our life where we are feeling one thing but the other person is feeling something totally different. Perhaps the most obvious example of this is when an individual is in their younger years and they possess emotional feelings about a person but the other individual does not reciprocate those same feelings. Thus, equaling a heartbreak.

Though that is perhaps the most recognizable example of unrequited feelings, this situation goes much deeper and, in fact, to all areas of life.

Think about something that you hoped would happen between you and another individual. It does not have to be something as grand as love; it can be something very simple. Maybe you hoped to spend the day with a person. Maybe you hoped to have lunch with somebody. Maybe you hoped they would come over to watch the game. But, their mind was on some other activity and, thus, what they were thinking about doing was not what you were thinking about doing and from this the hoped for situation did not occur.

Certainly, what one person wants to do as opposed to what another person wants to do is a very elemental example of two minds being on different paths. The definition of people not thinking about another person’s feelings rises up from there. Think about somebody who has done something to you that has truly hurt your life or your life evolution. Maybe you even explained to them that they had done something wrong. But, did they care? Did they change what they had done? In many cases the answer to that question is, no. Why? Because they do not care about you. They do not care about what they are doing to your emotions. They do not care about what they are doing to your life. From this, no matter what you say or do to them they are not going to change their mindset because they simply do not care about you.

Of course, in life, there are those compassionate individuals who truly take it upon themselves to listen and actually hear and understand when someone is conveying something to them—when someone is explaining that something they are doing is creating a negative reaction. Though everyone should be like this, how many people are? Are you? Look around your life. Look through your life experiences. How many times has someone actually cared about how what they were doing was affecting you?

For each person there will be a different conclusion. For some, they have been lucky and people have truly cared about them. For others, it is just the opposite. But, no matter what the end result is, there is one factor that is undeniable, certain people do not care about the feelings of other people and there is nothing that you can do to make them care.

We can all say, that is the type of person we should not associate with. But, life is not that easy. In many cases we are forced into life situation that we did not consciously choose. When we encounter these situations there is no clear answer in how to eliminate the feelingless person from the equation. We are simply forced to deal with them, what they are doing, what they have done, and contend with their lack of caring.

Is there an answer to all of this? Yes and no. As a conscious, caring individual we can fight to be a positive conduit in our lives and be the one who cares about what someone else is feeling. We can also attempt to remove those non-caring people from are existence. But, beyond that, all we can do is deal with the reality of life and that reality is, you can’t make someone feel.

So, the next time someone is expressing something to you about how you are affecting or will be affecting how they feel, listen to them, care, and try to accommodate their feelings by overriding your own selfishness. For is you cannot do this, you cannot expect it to be done for you.