The Scott Shaw Blog

Be Positive

Accused of Telling a Lie AKA Roll with the Punches

It’s kind of funny… Well, funny in that very sad sort of way…

Anyway, I got this four page handwritten letter today. Wow, I have not received a handwritten letter in I can’t tell you when… But, it’s been decades.

Wait! Thinking about it… The last handwritten letter I received was from Dr. Wayne Dyer in the early 1990s. It was a FU letter that really showed his true nature. Not the calm spiritual guy that he portrayed to the world. I used to have an essay with a copy of our correspondence and that letter up on this website. But, when he passed away I took it down. Don’t speak ill of the dead and all that…

Anyway, the letter I got today was from that guy who hit and totaled my car a few weeks ago.

To refresh all you Blog Reader’s memories… A guy went jamming down the wrong side of the street in his junky old Ford pickup to get to the open median area of the street due to a traffic jam and he sideswiped my car killing it. Sad, I really liked that car. Still haven’t got another car yet. Apparently, due to the pandemic the new car dealerships have no inventory and the used car prices are sky high. So??? Though he jammed off from the scene of the crime he did return about fifteen minutes later. He probably thought I snapped a photo of his license plate or something, which I did. The guy didn’t have insurance. Anyway, I guess my insurance company contacted him and when they were talking to him he threatened to sue me. And now, today, I get this handwritten letter, obviously written for the eyes of the reader, claiming it was all my fault; completely turning the truth about what happened into some projected fantasy. Like most people who damage or hurt the life of someone else he never apologized for his actions or tried to make anything right. He even wrote, either I or my insurance company representative is lying. Of course, he says if he doesn’t hear from me he’s going to take me to court. Okay… I’ve got photos, dude! That’s my proof of whose at fault. And, all you had to have was insurance and none of this nonsense would be going on.

You know, I learned a long time ago, when I first got into the film industry, that you never threaten to sue someone. You either sue them or you don’t. I also learned that you really have to want to sue someone because it costs a lot of money. Money you may never get back because what do people do when they lose a big lawsuit? They go bankrupt. Equalling no money, no matter who wins. And, if you do sue someone they are most certainly going to sue you back. So, threatening to sue someone is just stupid.

I think back to early ’92 when a guy hit me from behind when I was on my Harley. It killed my Harley. Again, the guy had no insurance. I was really going through a lot at that moment of my life. I had just gotten majorly fucked over, financially and otherwise, by the Executive Producer of The Roller Blade Seven and my Porsche had blown its transmission. So, I just didn’t need that to happen. The difference with him and the guy who hit me with his truck was that the guy who hit my Harley had a sister who was a lawyer. In-house counsel and all that. He got away with it. I was left with my fully customized Harley in a dead heap. The guy who customized it gave me $2,000.00 for the remaining parts. That’s it! Again, the driver lied about what happened but he had a sister lawyer willing to say or do whatever it took to win for the sake of her brother.

Like I have discussed in the past, a liar always lies. And, they will lie and deny, until their dying day, that they are a liar. Then, they are the first one to turn it all around and call someone else a liar even when that other person is telling the truth. Have you ever met anyone like that? Lairs are a bad breed.

We all make mistakes or have accidents in life. Sure, they suck. But, you really need to own it. Not lie about it. Because if you lie, all that makes you is a liar. And, no one wants to be known as a liar.

You know, it seems like the shit always hits the fan when you just don’t need it. I mean, I’m dealing with the loss of my cat a couple of days ago. Just really sad. That guy killed my car a couple of weeks ago. Now, I’ve got to figure out where I can get another car and maybe another Persian cat, as my other cat is now all bummed out and lonely—he lived with her his entire life. Anyone know any breeders?

Anyway, I just don’t need it! I don’t need to get a handwritten letter from that guy trying to turn the story around. I don’t need any of it!

It reminds me of this other time, way back in the way back when… I had brought this guy into the film game. He had taken a few of my classes and he seemed like a nice guy who really wanted to get his feet wet in the industry. I was happy to help. I never really understood why he got pissed at me, but I guess I had made a joke or something that put him off??? (I tend to be a bit of a joker). Anyway, my father-in-law, who I was very close to, (my last drinkin’ buddy), was on his way out. He asked his daughter and I to come down to the OC, where he lived, and help him get to the hospitable. As I was driving my pager started blowing up. I was getting voice mail after voice mail from that guy just going off on me. He had my mobil number but he didn’t want to call it. Why, I don’t know? When I called him, he hung up on me. I guess he didn’t want to discuss and/or hear my side of the goings-on… Then, he started calling all the cast of the film we were shooting, telling them what a fucked up human being I was. (What kind of person does something like that?) Thus, they all started calling me on my voice mail, wondering what was up. Wow… It was just crazy. If you have something to say, say it directly to the person. All this while I was trying to focus on the last hours of my father-in-laws life.

It always seems that’s how life goes… When it comes at you, it comes at you.

But, here’s the facts… When it does come at you, who cares? Only you. It’s you, it’s not them. Think about all the pain that is going on all over the world right now. Think about all of the major catastrophes and the small things where just one individual is involved. Think about the last time you were in pain. Who was there for you? Who stopped the attackers? Who took your pain away? Who helped you? Where’s the god equation in any of this?

And, all liars do is try to blame the someone else.

It comes down to not only how you deal with a situation but also how any other person involved deals with that situation. It comes down to who is willing to step from the shadows and help you.

Me, I always try to be as upfront and honest as I can. Yeah, I have my perspective but I always try to understand the other person’s perspective. When that guy finally came back to the scene of the crime, he seemed like a nice enough guy. I was very cordial to him. I didn’t go off on him at all. I was nice even though my car sat there in the middle of the street completely unmovable—never to drive again.

Maybe I was wrong. Me being wrong about people is not uncommon. My problem is, I care. But, I don’t have a sister who is a lawyer and no lawyer is revealing themselves from the grand abyss to protect me from anything—not even handwritten letters. So, I guess I just have to deal with it all myself.

Probably most of us have been in a position like this, once upon a time or two in our life; have you? Not fun. In fact, it’s just stupid. But, this is life. Not everyone is nice and honest; true and god fearing. Most are just in it for themselves. How about you? How much do you care about anyone but you? And, if you do care, what do you do about that caring? Who do you help: why and when?