The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

Helping with No Agenda

I often speak and write about how people should help one another. Sometimes people contact me and tell about the help they are providing. Sometimes via TV, radio, the internet, social media, or other sources I hear about someone talking about the help they have given someone or something. But, the more I hear about it, the more it becomes self-evident that people are not helping simply to help, they are helping to gain something out of their helping.

It is a very simple thing to think about. Go back in your mind and think about a time when you helped someone. Why did you do it? In virtually all cases, (if you are honest with yourself), the reason you helped someone is that you either wanted to gain something from that person from your helping them or you wanted to be praised as being a good person by your helping. How many times in your life have you helped anyone simply to help them with no ego or no hope for any desired outcome as part of the mix?

People commonly falsely believe they are helping when they are simply attempting to get their own or someone else’s agenda enacted. But, that is not really helping. Sure, it may be aiding your cause or your political party—it may even be helping a person win a battle over another person. But, that kind of helping is all Ego and Self Based. It does not arise from a pure sense of giving. It comes hand-in-hand with an agenda.

True helping, truly helping, is a process where you remove yourself from the equation. It is a space where you are doing simply to make the all and the everything of someone or everyone a little bit better. The main component in True Helping is that you have nothing to gain. You want or expect nothing from the person or persons you are helping and you do not desire to receive pride or praise because of your helping.

The person who truly helps tells no one that they are helping. They do not announce it and/or broadcast their helping to the world or to any individual. They simply do the deed. They simply help. They expect no reward and they turn one down if it is offered.

True helping is silent.