The Scott Shaw Blog

Be Positive

Who Will Miss You When You Die

Certainly, as we come nearer to the end of this pandemic, (at least hopefully), we have all witnessed a lot of death. Some of us, like myself, have lost people close to us due to the coronavirus. Others have watched from afar, casting their judgment of disbelief. But, the fact of the fact is, people have died. People do die. And, when people die, that person is no more. But, who cares? Who will miss you when you die?

I have watched as people have died during this COVID-19 pandemic. It is the same as I have always seen when someone passes away: people get emotional, people get grabby handed. They want what that person who died has left behind. They try to get it. They try to rope-a-dope the competition to get the
more. But, though they cry, do they truly care about that person who is gone or are they only thinking about themselves?

Some people are good people. For some people it is hard to find anything negative to say about them. Those people are very few and very far between however. Most have a lot of hidden secrets; a lot of evil deeds that no one knows about. Or, at least very few know about. And truly, what is a good deed verse a bad deed? Is it not simply based upon a point of view?

The sad truth of life is, people die. Then what? Then what is left of all that they did, all that they felt, all that they wanted, all that they got, all that they did not get, and all those who they loved? It is all gone.

We all look for love in our lives. We all hope we will be well remembered. We all hope that when we die someone will miss us; but will they? Or, will we just be another passing life in the passing lives of so many? Here and gone.

Many people have large families. Most believe that a large family promises promised love. But, I have gone to the funerals of a person with a large family; the family is there, then they are gone, and almost immediately are back to thinking about themselves and all the goings on of their own life. Sad, but true.

I look to my own life. I had a very small family. When my father died, (when I was ten), his side of the family was gone. They got pissed off at my mother about something and that was that—all those years of pretend were gone. They were they and we were we. I never saw any of them again.

I had an aunt and an uncle who never were married. My mother’s sister and brother. Thus, no children. They were obviously much older than I. They died and that was the end of any family I had ever known.

I’ve been with the same woman for over thirty years. I have watched as her family members were born and some of have died. Gone… Remembered by the blood but I am not their blood nor am I their race. So, where do I fit in the puzzle? I’m just that weird white guy.

I have watched as people have gotten married. Some spent enormous amounts of money on their ceremonies. Years later, divorced. The person is gone. Left out in the cold. Left to only the memory. I never saw them again. What did it all mean? What happened to the love? What happened to the promise of forever? What happened?

Once upon a time, in the long ago and the far-far away, I had these two cats. I got them both when they were kittens. Though they would sometimes fight, they really loved each other. When the one died of old age, I could just see the life go out of the other one. She just did not want to live without her mate. Shorty thereafter, she too passed away. I, of course, was devastated. But, how few relationships are like the relationship of those two cats? Most are simply a mess of Life-Things and trying to get by from one day to the next.

In my life, I have always tried to make a positive difference. Sure, I’ve done my bad deeds. I had a really fucked up childhood—the kind you never really get over, so I have a lot of issues, okay… …Like many of us… Nonetheless, I have done my best to do my best. Some people have appreciated that. But, more often than not, I have seen my critics take aim at me. But, what for? For trying to do good? For trying to make a contribution? …As abstract as that contribution may be.

So, who will remember me when I die and why? I have no bloodline. I mostly only have people who want something from me—if they want anything from me at all. So, what does it all mean?

How about you? Who will miss you when you die? Who will be sad that you are no more? How long will they miss you? Why will they miss you? And, what will your life have meant if no one misses you at all?