Scott Shaw.com Be Positive

Photographs of Memories Past

Over the past year or two, I’ve been uploading more and more of my feature films to YouTube. I’ve been on YouTube forever. But, in earlier times, a decade or more ago, I just put up film trailers and the like. Then, as time went along, I began to put up some of my shorts and full-length abstract pieces of cinema. Then/now, I began to put up some of my full-feature releases.
 
As I’ve discussed in the past, the times of indie cinema have
just changed. Once upon a time, in the long ago and the far-far away, there was money to be made. But, with everyone becoming a filmmaker... …Well, that is not really the case anymore. But, that’s not the point in any of this…
 
In May of 2001, I was filming a movie. It was all going along pretty good. Two of the main components of the film, became what I would call, “Friends.” One was a, “Guy,” the other was a, “Girl.” The, “Guy,” was originally one of my students at U.C.L.A. Though a couple of years older than I, he was a talented actor who wanted to get into the actual filmmaking game, so he took one of my courses. The, “Girl,” also very talented, was young and new to L.A., and cast from the depth of the indie film casting newspaper, Dramalogue. She worked on the first film the, “Guy,” and I put together and I recognizing her talent so I called her back for round two on our next feature film.
 
All was going pretty well on this film. One night, after filming was completed, the two of us, and our cameraman, decided to go out to dinner. That’s what this film, I am discussing, is based upon.
 
I handed the cameraman my Sony VX2000, one of the greatest indie film cameras ever made, (of that era), and told him, not to turn it off, no matter what. Of course, throughout the evening, I would periodically take over cameraman duties, and because of this, he also became a part of this little ditty and of the actual film we were making, as the footage shot was all so Zen.
 
Anyway, I got to thinking about this movie, a little while back, and pulled out the master. Watching it, I saw the magic that the three, (and to a lesser degree), four of us possessed in that moment. The Girl, the Guy, and I were close. We really clicked. You could see it in the footage. Were we in character? Of course, we were. But, in those characters, there was also an essence of pure realism. The affection was obvious.
 
As is the case with many of life’s interactions, the three of us went our separate ways soon after that. The, “Girl,” I used in another film. Then, she went on to work in the A-market for a time. I was so happy for her! The, “Guy,” he went on to make his own movie. Good for him!
 
A voice mail was passed back and forth, every now and then for a time, but that was that. The last time I heard from the, “Girl,” was when her mother contacted me asking for a copy of the poster of the first film she did with me, as that was her first co-starring role. Though I never actually had any posters printed, I did have the poster designed and was happy to send them a copy of the design of it on disk. I told her mother when she printed it to hook me up with a copy, but I never heard from any of them, ever again. Oh well…
 
Where are they now? No idea??? It doesn’t look like either of them ever took to social media, which I believe is a good thing. Gone… But, the memory locked into that movie is still alive.
 
As I watched it, I realized we lived those moments, over twenty-one years ago. Wow… That’s a long time. I wondered what they look like now??? Me, I feel the same. Though I certainly was not what could be considered young back then. I don’t know, maybe I was forty-two or forty-three. But then, as now, I feel so young. Physically, I think I look pretty much the same. Them, I have no idea about??? People can change a lot in twenty plus years…
 
But, think about this, and this is what I am thinking about… If that moment had not been filmed; sure the three/four of us may still remember it, but it would be lost to the hands of times, like so many other life-moments lived. Think about your life. Think about all the things you have done. Think about all of those happy moment when you were doing something with friends. Most likely you didn’t film it. Maybe you took a few photos, now that taking photos has become so easy. But, a photo is not a true documentation of the expression of the lived reality. It is solely a captured and posed second of what really took place.
 
I don’t know… I was going to put this movie up on YouTube… But, I think not. At least not right now… It’s far too personal. Sure, it’s already up on places like Amazon Prime Video, if you care to view it. It’s been there for years. And, it’s been out on DVD for well over a decade; almost two. But, nobody really cared/nobody really cares, even though it’s a great example of
Cinéma vérité. I noticed a review written about it several years deep now, and the reviewer just didn’t get it. All he could do was throw hate. But, I get it, how could he understand it, it was not his life-moment lived.
 
Think about this, if you had footage filmed, and movies made, about all of those special times you have lived, think how much deeper your knowledge of Self would be and how much more understanding of how you used to be and how you used to feel could be experienced. If those moments were captured in time, wouldn’t your life have somehow meant that something more?