The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

My Grandmother’s Tears

I was watching the late news this evening. They were doing a story on this family that had been followed home from a jewelry store and when they pulled into their driveway they had gotten jacked. You always have got to watch your six people! Anyway, it was all on home surveillance camera. One of the jackers was in clear view. With all the cameras that are everywhere, I am sure they will get the culprits. But, then what? The justice system has this new ridiculous system of no bail, no jail time, no nothing. So, who will pay for the crime?
 
On the newscast, the daughter of the jacked, she said, “These are not just my tears, these are my grandmother’s tears.” She said that because the jewelry that was stolen originally belong to her grandmother and her parents had taken it to be cleaned. But, she wasn’t crying. So, if she wasn’t crying, was her grandmother crying from the grave?
 
Board with regular TV, I was popping around YouTube when I came upon this sort of documentary presentation of the band
HIM doing a concert at the Rockwave Festival in Greece 2023. I watched it for a bit, and it was so sad, there was the lead singer of the band, doing what he did, but the band was (now) all so normal. No style. No flash. No passion. It looked like they were all just doing a job. It was all so empty. They were so lost in the times gone past that it was just sad. I had to flick it off. Immediately, the next video that came up, without me asking was, Killing Loneliness, followed by Wings of a Butterfly both GREAT songs and music videos by the band. Anyway, there was the band in those music videos, all cool and young and vibrant; with tons of style. I loved them back then. But, now…
 
I always find it interesting, but people never really know me. They may claim to know me, but they do not. Hell, there have even been some people trying to tell the world who and what I am and how I think and why I do what I do. They were all so-so wrong.

Most of the people in the Out There, don’t listen to the music I create. It’s like a completely different subset of people who listen to my music compared to the people who are into the whatever else Scott Shaw. Listening to it is a clue to me, however.  As a backstory, which you may or may not care about reading, I came out of the Punk era that gave birth to Death Rock, that gave birth to Goth, etc… So, though I love so many styles of music, in my heart that is what I am.
 
The reason I say this is that just today I was pointed to a situation where someone, years ago, was claiming to be me on some music website. They used my name and uploaded a photo of me and while claiming it was me, they wanted all my music to be removed from the site.  But, it wasn’t me! So, if it is not me, but someone claims to be me, and looks like me, who is it? And, if it is not true, what does any of that mean?
 
…People believe, but what do they believe?
 
Today, I upload a new, one of my Live Photo Series Zen Films, to YouTube,
Live Photo Oslo. I laid down one of my recent musical compositions as a background. I was thinking, and I mentioned it to my lady, who was sitting next to me, as just the other day, just this Christmas, I gave the very same synthesizer I used to create that piece of music to my nephew. I was so happy I could to do that for him. And, he was so happy to get it. He’s thirteen and he already has his music on Spotify and Apple Music and the like. …All created with just his piano. It is all so easy now. All you have to do is DO. But, so few DO. In any case, my lady asked, as we watched the Zen Film tonight, (she hadn’t seen it), “Do you think he can do something like that?” …Referring to the music. My answer, “I don’t know, let’s see. All I can do is provide the opportunity.” The one thing I do know is that if the technology was there then, as it is today, I can only imagine what I could have become. All I can say is that at thirteen he has already done so much more than most of the world will ever achieve.
 
There’s a story I can tell you about synthesizers, and me being a teenager, but I will save that for another time.
 
This all leads me to the point of all of this… …Bringing all this to the Reality of the Now. So many of us seek a time gone past. Just like a couple of days ago, I was at the family Christmas dinner and my lady’s cousin went on and on about how the music was so much better in the ‘80s. My lady is like that too. She’s lost somewhere back then. Me, I move with the times. I don’t hold on. Sure, I enjoy hearing some song I loved, way back I the way back when, but I keep it in context. There is so much great new stuff of the NOW.
 
As for seeing HIM, in the doc, I get it, Ville Valo, the singer was/is trying to resurrect the What Was and maybe make some money. Maybe he hopes to Re-Grab what he once had. But, what’s gone is gone.
 
If I can quote the Desideria, “Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.”  Hell, let me quote the whole thing, “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
 
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
 
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
 
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
 
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
 
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
 
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
 
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
 
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”  by Max Ehrmann 1927.
 
In closing, we ain’t what we once were. All we can be is HERE in our moment, wherever that moment may be.
 
Here you are. What are you going to do with it?
 
Now is now. Now is all you have. Don’t fight to find your way back to the past. Because it just ain’t there anymore.  
 
Me… As I composed this late in the late night, I think I’ll go flick back on MTV or some other music video channel and find some new Power Pop music to listen to. Happy