The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

When You Realize That Somebody Just Doesn’t Care

I believe we have all been in relationships where someone cares about us. At least I hope that’s the case. Maybe they are your family or your friends or your lover or your whomever. But, they care. They listen to you, and they do what they can to make your life better.
 
There is the other side of this issue, however. There is the case when we, all of sudden, realize that the other person we are dancing with just does not care about us at all. For whatever reason, they are in our life, but, at the end of the day, they do not truly care about us. Lord knows I have found myself in more than a few of those situations.
 
Life, your life, is defined by the relationships you are given, you find, you created, and you cultivated. Who are you in those relationships? What do you bring to the table? Do you truly care about the person you are in that relationship with? Or, do they simply serve some purpose in the ever-expanding definition of your Self? Do you give to them as much as they give to you? Truly, ask yourself that question.
 
No one can ever say that life-relationships are easy. Sure, some are. But, most are not. There is a lot of interweaving and adapting and accepting for many/most of them.
 
Most people give something back to those they are in a relationship with. But, some do not. They only take. Or, though you have given to them in their time of need—you have stood by them and supported and helped them, but when it came time for them to do the same for you, they were not there.  Then what?
 
The problem is, when push to comes to shove in many a relationship, the other person is only ultimately out for themselves. They will save themselves but let you drown. Sad but true. That’s reality.
 
So, what can we do with all of this factual information. The fact is, there is little you can do. I mean, all you have to do is look to how many personal relationships go south. One minute they are all in love and the next minute they hate each other and are trying to get the most they can out of their divorce. I have known more than a couple men who lost the house they paid for to the ex-wife in their divorce or have had to pay them alimony forever. Is that right? I’ve also observed just the opposite within my own extended family, where the man got to keep the house and the ex-wife had to pay him palimony. That’s just all kinds of wrong!
 
Have you ever listened to a person who is on the winning end of the downfall of their relationship? The live in a state of glee. They think they won. They believe they deserve it. How wrong is that?
 
Most relationships are not that complicated and life-spanning, however. Most happen in the moment, however long that moment may be. But, whatever the length of the relationship, there is the fact of the fact, most people are only in it for themselves.
 
We can try to be careful with those with whom we associate. That’s obvious. But, it’s the subtle realization when you expect someone to be there but they are not there that is the most revealing—the most devastating.
 
It’s not a nice thought but you must protect yourself. You must careful. You must study all those you associate with. You must prepare yourself for the reality of the reality that most people are only in it for themselves, no matter what they claim with their words.