The Scott Shaw Blog

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I Hate to Hear Children Cry

Whenever I hear a child crying it always makes me very sad. When a baby cries it is so much more primal. But, when a child is crying, they are actually crying about something. There is something that they need that they don’t have. There is something that they want that they believe they really need. There is always a something. Though their parents may not think that they need it or may not be willing to give it to them, when a child cries there is a reason.

If you think back to your young childhood, think about the times that you were truly driven to tears. If you do, you will understand that there was a reason for those tears. Maybe now, years upon years later, you may be able to rationalize why your need(s) were not met but that does not change the level of true pain that you felt back then.

For most of us, as a child, we are trained not to cry when our needs are not being met. Like when my father used to hit me over something I did that he deemed inappropriate and I started to cry, “If you cry I will give you something to cry about,” would always be his statement. I was trained not to cry.

Then, there is all of the male machoism that is placed upon men. They are not supposed to cry. So, culture itself keeps one from expressing emotion.

But, a chid, their tears comes from a very primordial space. It is so pure in its emotional expression. I don’t understand why parents do not answer their child’s need when they hear their child crying?

My neighbors have a couple of kids. You can tell that they are kids raised in the mindset of giving. They get what they want and need. I believe their parents are trying to provide them with a good life. Every now and then, however, I will hear one of those young children truly crying. It just makes me sad. Something must be very wrong in what is happening to them for them to cry with that intensity.

I have a nice and nephew… Well, I have a few, but there are two from one particular family-structure. They too are children that are being provided for. I don’t know that I have ever seen either one of them truly cry. They are being taken care of. How great of a childhood is that?

For many of us, at least those of us who had a less than ideal childhood, we can think back to the intensity of our tears. There were those times when what took place really hurt. And, though we may have been told not to cry or we shouldn’t be feeling the way we are feeling, that did not change the loss or the pain of what we were feeling. Those moments are what come to define our life.

When a child cries they are crying for a reason. If you’re going to choose to be a parent, it’s really important to give a child a life where they don’t need to cry. If a child is crying, you really need to find a way to take those tears away.