The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

Didn't See That One Coming

Life is full of surprises. Hopefully most of the surprises in your life will be positive. Hopefully good things will come your way.

Though we can all hope that we, and those we know and care about, will encounter good things in their life, sometimes things come out of nowhere and take us by surprise—things that we do not want to happen. Maybe it is that flat tire. No big deal but just one of those hassles that you would prefer not to have to deal with. Then, there are those bigger things. Maybe someone verbally attacks you, tells a lie about you, or something like that. Maybe someone breaks your heart. Maybe someone runs into your car. Recently, here in the L.A. area, there have been a bunch of strong-armed robberies taking place. People will be eating outside at a restaurant or they will be followed home and someone will come up, stick a gun in their face, and take their watch, their jewelry, their purse, or their money. These are all really negative things that can leave lasting impressions on a person. …Never expected or desired but they come out of the blue.

In life, it really comes down to one thing: good is always good and bad is forever bad. Like I have long said, if you love Hell it becomes Heaven but most people do not possess the refined mindset to redefine individual experiences and transition the bad into the good. They just feel what they feel when they feel it.

What do you do when something unexpected comes your way? Really ponder this question for a moment. For each of us it is different. But, do you ever take the time to truly evaluate what you are feeling or how you are reacting when a situation is occurring—when the positive and/or the negative surprisingly comes your way?

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you, all of a sudden, realized that you are having a really good time? Or maybe, you begin to eat a meal and you realized that what you are eating is really-really good. But, almost as soon as you realized this, your meal is over—the experience had culminated. You knew it was good but now that good is gone. Then what?

The things is, we all have the tenancy to become lost in our experiences: be they good or be they bad. Most of life is pretty common place but then there are those experiences that are something more.

For some, they must encounter badness brought on by those around them. Maybe they are attack: verbally or physically. Maybe someone unconsciously does something like causes them to have car accident. Or maybe, someone targets them.

Here’s the thing, people who focus on the life of someone else and intentionally say bad things about an individual or do bad things to anyone are living their life from the very sad perspective of outside focus. They concentrate on someone else because what they are feeling or what they are doing with their own life holds no true worth. Even for those robbing others, they do this to get what that other person has. Thus, as they are empty in their own life, they are drawn to the life of someone else. From this, they seek to hurt other people or appear to be more than that other person either through words or via physical actions. Think about it… When someone has hurt you, why did they do it? Or, when you have hurt someone, why did you do it?

Most people never contemplate any of this. They just become lost in the experience of the experience. If it is good; great. If it is bad; not great. But, where is any refined understanding in any of this?

Lower-level people may attempt to hurt you. Why they do that is anyone’s guess but the fact of the fact is, there are people like that out there. At some point in your life you may encounter someone with this mindset. There are also the really good people out there. People who will help you and/or give to you, (or anyone else), for no better reason than that is what they do.

Who are you? Which one of these levels of consciousness do you exist upon? More importantly, did you/do you choose to be who and what you are? Or, do you simply allow your lower level of undefined emotions to guide you on pathway where you leave hurt in your wake?

Let’s go back to when someone surprisingly does something negative to you for a moment. In the past, how have you reacted? Did you allow their actions to take control over you? Or, did you refuse to allow them to control the inner you? Did you reframe the event into a learning experience that lead you towards your betterment? Or, did you allow it to destroy you?

If you take a true look at what other people do to you, you will see that though you may not be able to stop or undo what they have done, what you can do is to redefine the event by your own standards and move it to a higher level of learning. You can make the bad into good if you choose to possess the mental perspective to do so.

This is not necessarily easy. And, it never involves revenge or re-hurt. Because all that does is to further give control to the person who instigated the pain. It makes you become the badness they initiated.

Though this higher level of redefinition is not easy, it is doable. And, by doing this—by transitioning their bad into something good, not only have you taken control over their negative doing(s), you have proven to be the better person to anyone who is watching.

What about the times you have hurt someone? I’m sure that came at them with a surprise. Why did you do it? Did you do it consciously? Did you do it intentionally? Did you truly study your motivations before you did it? Or, did you do it simply because you could?

If you hurt anyone for any reason, you hurt someone. That is now the definition of your life. That is now proof that you are not a good or a worthy person. What are you going to do about that fact? Lie to yourself? Lie to others? Pretend you did nothing? Act like you don’t care? If you do any of those things, nothing becomes any better. All you are is just another person who did another bad thing adding to the non-goodness that is out there.

All life begins with you. I say this all the time. If someone hurts you, it is what you do next with that experience that sets the stage for the rest of your life. If you hurt someone else, it is what you do next with that experience that sets the stage for the rest of your life.

Though much of life is out of our control—it comes at us in a flash we never expected, what is in your control is what you do with the cards you have been deal. It is what you do to others which will define what they will do to and for you.

Choose to be in control of your life no matter what the circumstances. Though things may come at you that you never expected: both good and bad, be in the moment with those occurrences and transcend above all of them to the most positive place they can be elevated to.

Mostly, be that person who does that something nice for that someone else. Maybe you know them, maybe you don’t, but we all remember those good things done by those nice people. Let that be the memory you leave with everyone. Let that be the life surprise you give to them.