The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

Name Dropper AKA A Life Based on Who You Know

Have you ever met one of those people who, when they are trying to impress you, they talk about the fact that they know this person or that? They want to make themselves some kind of something more based upon whom they have met and/or know.
At the very basic level of this style of behavior, what that person is doing is saying that they are not good enough in and of themselves. They are broadcasting to the world that by them having met that other person, that by knowing that other individual, that makes them something more than who they are as a unique creature onto their own self.
On some levels, it is obvious that a person who behaves in this manner possesses a low level of self-esteem as they are defining themselves by that other individual. You see this all the time in people that do interviews or write tell-all books. They are not basing that disseminated information on who and what they truly are, instead they are simply defining their life by what that other person gave to them or did to them. Think about how many people have become marginally famous simply by speaking about that someone else who actually is famous and has accomplished something.
There are those people who seek out that person who is the center of attention. They try to meet and cozy up to those people. They do this in order to make themselves something more. At the most basic and primordial level of this is the groupie to the rock star. But, it goes onto all different levels from that.
I know back in the days when I was a young single man, (and being from L.A. where fleeting fame is rampant), I would sometimes meet girls who would try to impress me by telling me about a famous person they had sex with. Men don’t want to hear that kind of nonsense! In fact, simply by knowing that this girl apparently did have sex with that someone, completely turned me off, and I was out the door.  And, that is just one small example…
Think about all the people who speak about someone else. They want to tell you who they met, who they studied from, who they worked for, who they went on a date with, who they had sex with, and the list goes on and on… What they are doing is defining themselves and attempting to make themselves something more than you or I or anybody by them knowing that someone that the everyone else does not. But, what does that make them? From this, they are stating they are not important enough to be the central subject of the conversation.
I know here in Hollywood, this style of nonsense goes on all over the place. People think by knowing someone it will get them something that they do not have. And, maybe it will. But, by living life at this level all a person does is to diminish the what they could become by placing their entire life focus on someone and something they are not and will never be.
You can never become your own person if you define yourself by having known or interacted with anyone else. Remember that.
Become your own person. Do not become someone who defines themselves simply by whom they have known. For then, at best, all you are is a shadow of that other individual—and most possibly someone that person will not even acknowledge having known. You will never become what you actually could have become if you look to anyone else to make you what you are.