The Scott Shaw Blog

Be Positive

The Dynamics of Confrontation Leading to the No-Win Scenario

Certainly, in the urban centers around the United States, and across the globe, there are way too many people living in way too small of a space. There are far too many rats in a cage for it to be a healthy environment. Yet, the urban centers continue to populate as the societies where these urban centers are housed find new ways to enclose more and more inhabitants into a too small of a space. It’s really not a good thing. Too many people means too many people’s overlapping problems leading to too many confrontations where no one is any longer allowed to emerge victorious. But, the bigger question is, (or at east should be), should there be a need a for a winner or a loser in the first place?

I was driving to have breakfast the other day. Within just a mile or so I had two situations where a confrontation could have easily followed. I was driving, in front of me was this white Cadillac SUV going very slow in the fast lane, apparently not aware or not caring about the anyone else. What else is new? He (or she) was driving in the fast lane. All of sudden they decide they want to turn right at the next street which was rapidly approaching. Across the lanes they attempt to go with no thought for anyone else. I guess this pissed off the driver of the car in front of me, also an SUV, who decided they wanted to get in their way to stop the progress of the Cadillac. But, to do this, they don’t look, they totally cut me off, almost causing an accident. I honk. I think, “Fucking asshole,” but I move along towards my breakfast.

Just a few moments later, I am again driving towards my destination, when this car, driving parallel to me, in the next lane, decides to change lanes and starts to swerve into my lane. Had I not been aware and, luckily, as there was no car in the lane next to me, I swerve out of the way. Had I not they would have totally sideswiped me. I honk, yell a few choice words at them, and move along. They, I guess become afraid, or whatever, slowed way down and hung way back. It wasn’t like I was going to take it any further. What would be the point? But, a lot of people would have taken it a lot farther. You see it on the news all the time, road rage leading to people getting shot.

In some states, here in the U.S. it is legal to carry guns. I guess, in those states a lot of people do carry a gun. But, why? Why are you so insecure that you need to carry a gun? I’m sure most would answer, “As a means of my personal protection.” But, if you have gun, you can use a gun, and someone can easily die; based upon some small thing like a traffic incident.

Here in California, where carrying a gun is not legal, some people also carry guns. But, look at what that one guy did several months ago on the freeway. A woman flipped him off, he got pissed off, shot at her car, and killed her baby. No gun, no death.

People are out of control. Too many rats in a cage.

If you look to this situation that took place a few days ago, here in the L.A. area, you can witness the rage in people eyes? But, rage over what; to what end and for what ultimate purpose?

So… There is currently a re-call election going on here in California against the governor. The frontrunner Republican candidate was in Venice, doing what candidates do. This man is of African-American heritage. First what happened is that a woman on bicycle, wearing a gorilla mask, threw an egg at him. Personally, I found the symbolism in that very offensive. She missed and his security guards stepped in to protect the candidate. Right away steps up this white man with a shaved head, getting all in the face of this one security guard. You can tell he is one of those guys who has learned that if he gets all bold and scary and yells, he will may win a bout without ever fighting.

Plus, remember people, we are still in a pandemic; screaming in someone face can be a death sentence because I would highly doubt someone like that guy is vaccinated.

Anyway, the security guard pays little mind, but when he turns around the guy sucker punches him in the back of the head. It was a wild punch and did little, if any, damage. The security guard moved along.

Even more than that, I question why there was no police on the scene. They had to know this candidate was going to be there. And, Venice has long been noted for its violence and unruliness.

But, there are so many levels to this and the reason why the dynamics of confrontation leads to nothing good. What if that guy’s sucker punch would have hurt or even knocked out the security guard and the attacker would have been arrested? He would have claimed all kinds of justifiable reasons for why he did what he did. But, all that he actually did was unleash violence proving that he was an out of control individual.

If, on the other hand, the security guard would have turned around and counterpunched the guy, possibly hurting and defeating him, then what? The guy would have played the victim card; sued the security guard and the political campaign. Meaning, you can’t win, lose, or draw as all confrontations lead to a no-win scenario.

If you win, you have won—maybe you have defeated your opponent but then what is left? Hurt, anger, karma, all being directed at you; for which, you will someday pay the price. What if you lose? You are cast to a situation where you look for a rematch. In this world of today that usually means the legal system and suing someone. But, what if there was no confrontation at all? Wouldn’t everything just be better? No one would be hurt. No damage would be done.

As I was driving home after breakfast, this young Latino male, in his customized car, decided to stop in the left turn only lane next to be. I’m guessing he was pretty high. He sticks his blunt out the window and is trying to clear off the ashes. He does this while all the cars behind him are lining up and beginning to honk as he is holding up their progress. They are getting angry. He is high and doesn’t care. He looks at me, as I am right next to him. I look at him. And, just like most things life, it means nothing. He eventually drives on. There was no fights. And, everyone’s life is allowed to move along until the next confrontation can be found.

In life, you can get mad if you want to get mad. If you want to get angry there is always something for you to be mad at. But, what does that make you? Answer: a person who is motivated and guided by the actions of someone else. It makes you someone who is not only controlled by the actions of others but one who has allowed the doings of others to guide what you do. Is that who you want to be? Are you your own person or are you someone who is so out of control of your Self that you look to the actions of others to guide you towards what you will feel and what you will do?

As in all things life, it’s all your choice. But, one choice leads you towards darkness whereas the other choice leads you towards the light.