Samurai Vampire Bikers from Hell The Screenplay

Samurai Vampire Bikers from Hell
The Screenplay


Here are segments from the original screenplay and actual shooting script for
Samurai Vampire Bikers from Hell.

Due to internet formatting this script is not presented in true screenplay format.




SAMURAI VAMPIRE BIKERS FROM HELL

Screenplay by Scott Shaw

First Draft


Copyright 1991
WGA.w Registered

SAMURAI VAMPIRE BIKERS FROM HELL

Fade In:

EXT. TUNNEL - NIGHT
A lighted tunnel looms in the distance. The sound of numerous motorcycles approaching can be heard.

INT. VAMPIRE PARTY MONTAGE - NIGHT
A group of young wild vampires, carrying samurai swords, dressed in modern clothing are having a party.

EXT. TUNNEL - NIGHT
A lighted tunnel looms in the distance. The sound of a single Harley Davidson motorcycle can be heard.

INT. VAMPIRE FEEDING MONTAGE - NIGHT
The group of vampires pull their swords from their sheaths and begin to assault a female. The woman screams.

EXT. CHURCH - NIGHT
The image of gothic church looms in the distance.

INT. VAMPIRE ABODE - NIGHT
Three male vampires, MARKUS, (an Asian male with long hair), VINCENT, (a male with short hair, needing a shave). JACOB, (a male with long hair), push at one another. An obvious power play, between them, over the woman who lay topless, apparently dead, with sword slashes on her body.

Camera goes to her pale face. Her eyes open.

The male Vampires look at one another as she begins to rise.

The confrontation between them stops. They study her, look at one another and begin to laugh.

EXT. TUNNEL - NIGHT
The lighted tunnel is seen. The sound of the single Harley Davidson motorcycle is heard.

The motorcycle and a rider, ALEXANDER HELL, (a man with long blond hair) magically appear at the entrance to the tunnel.

Hell looks around for a moment and then rides off.

INT. DRAKE'S OFFICE - NIGHT
A dimly lightly office with general memorabilia on the wall and on the desk. A gun lay with its clip out upon the desk.

Camera moves up to view a man, MR. DRAKE, in a messy suit sitting asleep in his office chair.

Drake abruptly awakes from his sleep.

DRAKE

The gate has been broken.

CUT TO:
INT. VAMPIRE PARTY MONTAGE – NIGHT

INT. LUCAS' ABODE – DAWN
A dark atmosphere pervades the place.

Hell walks in a bit dismayed and looks around for a few moments.

LUCAS a man, apparently, mid forties walks in carrying a tennis racquet.

LUCAS

Alexander!

Lucas and Hell make eye contact and walk towards one another and hug.

ALEXADER

Hey, hey, hey, Lucas... How the hell are you?

LUCAS


Hell, I thought that was you neck of the woods...
(laughter)
But, I'm fine.

Lucas pulls back from Hell.


LUCAS

God, look at you...

ALEXADER

Don't say that word, God...

(Mutual laughter)

LUCAS

What's it been... five or six hundred years?

ALEXADER

Yeah, give or take a decade or two.

LUCAS

How was your trip out of hell?

ALEXADER

Well, the last few hundred miles were dark;
but, you know how it goes... Wouldn't have made the journey for any one but you.

LUCAS

Any trouble passing through the gate?

ALEXADER

Had to kick the gatekeepers ass... But, I made it out...

Hell begins to study the tennis racket Lucas is holding.

LUCAS
(reflecting)

Paid him of too... Lost a good soul or three
on that one.

ALEXADER

Better get you barter back.... By the way, man, what is that you got in your hand?

LUCAS

It's a tennis racquet.

ALEXADER

Tennis?

LUCAS

Tennis, yes. It's a great game.


ALEXADER

Yeah, I've seen it once or twice down on the Hell cable news network, but don't you need sun or something like that to play it in.

LUCAS

Sun, yes, of course... A brisk morning game of tennis does wonders for the soul.

ALEXADER

Yeah, don't mention that word either... But, I thought you guys...

LUCAS

You guys?

ALEXADER

Yeah, you know, you guys of the blood.
I thought that you couldn't go out in that stuff.

LUCAS

Alexander, I'll talk to you about that later.

Hell, begins to shield his eyes and face.

ALEXADER

Yeah, it is getting a bit bright out there.
Better go retire, if you catch my meaning.

LUCAS

Yes, will talk about a lot of things later.

DISSOVLE TO:

INT. VAMPIRES ABODE - DAY
The young vampires lie on the floor, upon each other, etc., sleeping.

INT. LUCAS' ABODE – DAY
Lucas and LATIFAH (a woman late twenties) sit.

SIR KATANA an Asian man enters. He carries two samurai swords. One he throws at the feet of Lucas.

KATANA

Brought you a present Lucas... Thought, that it might make you remember your roots.

Lucas picks up the sword, looks at it for a moment and then places it to his side.

LUCAS

It's been a long time Katana. We of the blood, should stay closer together.

KATANA

Blood, Hell...




SAMURAI VAMPIRE BIKERS FROM HELL

Screenplay by Scott Shaw

Second Draft


Copyright 1991
WGA.w Registered



OPENING SCENE

FADE IN:
INT. LUCAS’ ABODE
ALEXANDER HELL, a man with long blond hair, dressed in biker clothing, carrying a samurai sword, walks in a bit dismayed and looks around for a few moments.

LUCAS a conservative man, wearing a suit, apparently, mid forties walks in.

LUCAS (smiling)

Alexander! Alexander. How the Hell are
you?
Lucas walks towards Hell and attempts to hug him.
Hell pulls back, giving Lucas a bit a shove.

ALEXANDER

Hell, that's your business.

(BEAT)
Back off, man.

LUCAS

I heard you made your way out.

ALEXANDER

No thanks to you.

Hell pulls out his samurai sword and holds it to the neck of Lucas.

Lucas laughs and pulls back. He casually pushes the sword out of the way.

LUCAS

Don't you know by now Alexander, you can't
kill a vampire with one of those.

ALEXANDER

No, maybe not. But, I can sure take off an arm or two. How'd you like to go through eternity like that?

Lucas shakes his head, begins to laugh.

ALEXANDER

Give me my money and I'll be on my way.

Lucas studies Hell for a few moments...

LUCAS (calmly)

How was your trip out of Hell?

ALEXANDER

The last few hundred miles were dark, as usual.

LUCAS

Any trouble passing through the gate?

ALEXANDER

Like you care...
(BEAT)
Had to kick the gate keepers ass... But, I
made it out. No help from you.

LUCAS (reflecting )

I paid him off. Lost a good soul or three on that one.

ALEXANDER

Better get your barter back.

LUCAS

Listen Alexander, I have to talk to...

ALEXANDER

No, you listen Lucas. I did a job for you. I went down there, and it was a lot more than I bargained for. I did what you asked, now give me the money and I'm out of here.

LUCAS

It's not that simple Alexander.

ALEXANDER

Yes, it is that simple.

LUCAS
(continuing)

You see I brought these demons out of Hell.

ALEXANDER
Yeah, I heard something about that, downunder. (BEAT)

Had to trade a lot of pure souls to get them out; didn't you?

LUCAS

Yes, but...

ALEXANDER

Look, man, I don't care. You got your greed and ethics and I got my.

LUCAS
(interrupting)

But you don't understand. I've brought them up here and now they won't go back.

Hell thinks for a moment.

ALEXANDER

What's in it for me?

LUCAS

I think that you know a few of them. One in particular, Princess Die.

Alexander reflects for a moment.

ALEXANDER

And so...

LUCAS

You can have her.

ALEXANDER

Yeah, just what I need another bitch from Hell.
Lucas becomes concerned.

LUCAS

Look, Alexander, I can't control them.

ALEXANDER

Oh, the mighty Lucas not in control.

LUCAS (very serious)

Name your price, Alexander.

Hell thinks for a moment; then, looks around him.

ALEXANDER

This place will do nicely.

LUCAS

My castle?

ALEXANDER

You called it; now pay or play.

LUCAS

All right, if you pull it off...

ALEXANDER

If...

CUT TO:


INT LUCAS’ ABODE - A SHORT TIME LATER

Lucas and Hell are walking. They stop.

LUCAS

They're after the serum.

ALEXANDER

You mean the one Madame Octavia brewed up that let’s you Pires walk in the daylight.

LUCAS

That's it.

ALEXANDER

You brought them up here; why not give it to them?

LUCAS (frantic)

Do you know what a disaster that would be. If the un-dead where to walk in the day.

ALEXANDER

You look in any mirrors, lately?

LUCAS (calming down)

I want you to work with a man.

ALEXANDER

I work alone.

LUCAS

He's one of us.


ALEXANDER

You mean he’s one of you.

LUCAS

Whatever... His name is Sir Katana

ALEXANDER

Already met him.

LUCAS
(surprised)

You have?

(BEAT)

You both have a reason to want the intruders back in Hell. Yours is...


ALEXANDER
(interrupting)

Mine is my new crib. (As he looks around).

LATIFA, a beautiful woman, apparently in her late twenties. She is Lucas’ consort. She enters from behind Lucas.

LATIFAH

Lucas...

Lucas turns; he is obviously very happy to see her. They embrace one another and hold each other for a moment. Latifah, though holding Lucas, has her eyes on Hell. Lucas releases the hug.

LUCAS

Alexander this is Latifah.

ALEXANDER
(disinterested)

Good to see you.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LUCAS’ ABODE - DAY
Lucas and Latifah sit on thrones.

SIR KATANA an Asian man enters. He carries two samurai swords. One he throws at the feet of Lucas.

KATANA

Brought you a present Lucas... Thought, that it might make you remember your roots.

Lucas picks up the sword, looks at it for a moment, then places it to his side.

LUCAS

It's been a long time Katana. We of the blood, should stay closer together.

KATANA

Of the blood, Hell...

LUCAS

Hell, yes that is where you would be if it were not for me.

LATIFAH
(interrupting)

Well, it was actually, I who made you, of the blood.

KATANA

Yeah, some favor.

LUCAS

It would appear that Sir Katana has developed a major attitude problem.

(To Latifah)

Wouldn't you say dear?

LATIFAH

Major attitude.

KATANA

You called me over here, Luke. You want to
talk? Talk!

LUCAS

Don’t call me, "Luke," you little Vampire With Out A Clue. The name is Lucas.

KATANA

Sure thing, Luke. So, what do you want from me?

LUCAS (still angered)

Katana. we’ve been having a few minor difficulties with some of the hired help.

KATANA

So.

LATIFAH

What he means, darling, is that we brought up some talent from the underworld and they’ve gotten completely out of hand. They're raising hell all over the city.

LUCAS

They multiply like rabbits! I don’t know where they keep coming from. And then a bunch of them will just take off and disappear. I can't control them anymore.

LATIFAH

And you should see some of the women they have hanging all over them. Sluts from Hell.

KATANA
(sarcastically)

Unlike you.

LATIFAH

Bite your tongue.

LUCAS

So, you see, Katana, we need you and... to finesse the situation. We need your powers of persuasiveness, your tact, your charm...

LATIFAH

We need you to kick the shit out of them.

KATANA
(angered)

Yeah, me and who... Lucas?

Lucas and Latifah look at one another.

LUCAS

Well, you and Hell.

KATANA

Hell?

LATIFAH

Yes, Hell sweetheart, Alexander Hell.

KATANA

You mean that no good, sword carrying wanta-be samurai, human?

LUCAS

Well, yes.

KATANA

No way, man. He's a human. I'm a thousand years old, I fought some of the greatest samurai warriors of history, and won.

LUCAS

Yes, but he's not just a human.

LATIFAH
(reflecting)

No, not just an average man, at all.

Lucas studies her emotions.

KATANA

Why isn't he one of us?

LUCAS

Doesn't want to be.

KATANA

You people converted me, when I wasn't sure. What about him?

LATIFAH

He's strong, very strong.

Lucas still studying Latifah questioning her strong reaction about Alexander Hell. He takes his eyes from her and back to Katana.

LUCAS

You see but he's been there.

KATANA

Been where?

LUCAS

Hell, he's been down there.

Katana, becomes quiet and reflects for a moment.

KATANA

Hell’s been to Hell. How'd you pull that one off?

LATIFAH (still mesmerized)

He pulled it off...

LUCAS

I don't know, it's this thing with him being human...

KATANA

Look, I really don't care about all your
problems, with Hell, this human! Your crew from the underworld... I just don't care.

LUCAS

We need you to work for us. We need you to tell them their time on earth has run its course, that the dark kingdom cries out for their presence.

LATIFAH
(interrupting)

Tell them to go to Hell.

KATANA

What do I look like, a garbage man? Someone who takes out the trash? I don't think so. These Vampires from Hell are your problem. You deal with them. I don't have the time.

LUCAS

You know what your problem is, Katana? You think that your better than everyone else. You think you're too good for all of us other Vampires.

LATIFAH

You were such a sweet boy when you came to us, Katana. So polite and eager to learn. We even let you join in our Vampire games. But I think Lucas is right, you've become a pretentious bore.

KATANA

Don't try to sweet-talk me.

LATIFAH

I wouldn't dream of it.

LUCAS

You think that you've got it made, don't you, Katana? Living large with the humans. But what happens when they find out what you really are? They'll turn on you faster than a virgin bleeds

KATANA

Won't happen.

LATIFAH

You're being an ungrateful little beast. We taught you everything about being a Vampire. How to dress, how to act, how to eat in restaurants. How to make love to a woman.

KATANA

Yeah, well, you know what they say: those that can't do, teach.

LUCAS

Listen kid, when you first came to me you were a high school drop-out wanna-be-actor...

KATANA

You’re confusing me with Kiefer Sutherland.

LUCAS

Oh yeah, that's right.

(BEAT)

Anyway, you and me might not be friends, kid, but blood runs thicker than water. And, there's going to come a day when you need something from me.

KATANA

Not likely.


LATIFAH

Don't be so sure, Katana. We all have needs. Even you.

(BEAT)

Why don't you tell him dear.

LUCAS

I don't know if I...

KATANA

Tell me what!

LATIFAH

You're...


LUCAS

Dear?

LATIFAH

Your brother Toronomo is one them.

Katana looks angered and walks out. Once Katana has left, Lucas looks at Latifah and laughs. Latifah begins to laugh as well.

LUCAS

I knew telling him that would get him involved.


DISSOLVE TO:


INT. LUCAS' ABODE
Lucas and Latifah have just had a confrontation with the Vampires from Hell. They are leaving the room.

LUCAS

Those cocky little bastards! I'll have the Hounds of Hell chew them up into a million pieces and...

LATIFAH

The Hounds of Hell are only in comic books, darling.

LUCAS

Oh yeah, that's right. What the hell are we going to do now?

LATIFAH

You just said it, dear.

LUCAS

What? Said what?

LATIFAH

Hell, Alexander Hell.

Lucas breaks into a broad smile and reaches for the phone.


CUT TO:


INT. LUCAS' ABODE
Alexander Hell stands, Latifah enters frame and walks up to him. She comes close, looks into his eyes, caresses his hair.

LATIFAH

Do you remember the times we had together.

Alexander looks away.

LATIFAH (CONT)

You know that it was I who got you out of Hell. Lucas was going to leave you there.

Alexander looks a bit angered.

Latifah continues to caress him.

LATIFAH (CONT)

Though you're only a human, you love is the best I have ever known.

Latifah attempts to kiss Alexander. He pulls back.

ALEXANDER

Believe me, babe, you weren't that good.

Alexander leaves frame.

Latifah follows him with her eyes.

EXT. WOODS - DAY
Katana and Hell sit on the ground in the woods.

FINAL SCENE
FIRST DRAFT


KATANA

And, you thought it was over...

HELL

You mean it’s not over?

KATANA (shaking his head)

Nope, not yet.

HELL (exasperated)

Oh, come on, man... It's got to be over.

KATANA
(still shaking his head)

No, unh unh. Anieo. Sorry Charlie, Think again. It's still going on.


HELL
(in a very adolescent manner)

Nuh, unh.

KATANA

Hun hunh.

HELL

Oh, man, not more of that.

KATANA

Yes, Alex...

HELL

That's Alexander

KATANA

Yeah, whatever. Like Lady Octavia told when you lead people on...


HELL
(interrupting)

You mean like, when I told her hasta la pasta out there in the desert that didn't mean that her and I were donesville Daddy-0.

KATANA

That's right.

HELL

Oh, man.

KATANA

And, you know Alex, that when you went off with that women that night.

(Thinking)

What was her name: Debbie, Daisy...

HELL

Desereta.

KATANA

Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, you know when you went off with her, Susie was lonely.

HELL

No! You didn't.


KATANA (very stern)

Yes Alex, I did. We all have our needs. You have yours and I have mine. I make her one of the breed of the night.

HELL

Damn, and she wasn't even faithful.

KATANA

And, now she will chase you until your dying day.

HELL

Thanks a lot man.

(BEAT)

That’s it. I'm going to stop messing with those chicks, man. No more. Unh, unh. Not me. Not this one.

As they sit there for a moment MEGAMI appears sitting in between them.

Hell and Katana are both startled.

She is dressed in street clothing. They both study her.

MEGAMI

How are you two doing?

HELL

Ana tawa Ango hana she mas ka?

MEGAMI

Of course I do silly man.

HELL

Wow, cool, I didn't know that.

MEGAMI

There is a lot of think that you don't know.

KATANA

We took care of those Vampire's from Hell like
you asked us to.

Megami looks Katana up and down

MEGAMI

Maybe.

She then looks at Hell.

MEGAMI

What are you guys doing way out here?

KATANA

Well, we were on our way back from the desert.

HELL
(interrupting)

Yeah, were on the way to Lucas’s to pick up the keys to ray new crib.

MEGAMI
(becoming obviously interested)

Oh, you have a new house?

HELL

Yeah. I made this deal with Lucas, for sending the vampires back to Hell.

MEGAMI

Is it large.

KATANA

Lucas's places is a castle.

MEGAMI
(becoming very interested)

I love men with large places.

HELL
(becoming very suave)

Really?

MEGAMI

Really.

(BEAT)

Do you have a big car too?

HELL

I have a Harley. And, it's very big.

Hell and Megami begin to touch each other and start to kiss.

KATANA (becoming frustrated)

Alex, you said you weren't going to do this anymore.

HELL

I lied.

Megarai and Hell very into each other.

Katana sits looking frustrated.

Into frame walks Lucas wearing a suit and tie.

LUCAS

Sir Katana, Alexander, Megami, glad to see you.

Katana a bit hesitant, stands up.

HELL
(standing up smiling)

Lucas, just on the way to your place to pick up the front door keys to my new crib.

LUCAS

Well, Alexander, there a few areas of the contract we really haven’t haven't discussed yet.

HELL

What do you mean?

LUCAS

Well, like I don't think that you're going to live long enough to take possession of my castle.

HELL

Huh?

LUCAS

That's the problem with being mortal, Alexander. You can be killed.

(BEAT)

Now, Katana on the other hand...

HELL

Just get to the point, man. What's up?


LUCAS

Got a few friends here I think you'll remember.

Numerous Vampires from Hell materialize.

KATANA
(angry)

How'd you bring them back up here? What about Lucifer Jr.?

LUCAS

Lucifer Jr. Well, he's out of a job. He screwed up one too many times. So, Daddy sent him back to the soul janitorial detail.

(BEAT)

Actually, it's what I was up to all along. Now I'm in charge: up here and at the gate.

(BEAT)

I don't like you two. Never did. Thought I could use you. I figured the Vampires would get you Hell; and MacGavin, you, Katana. I bet wrong. It happens to the best of us gamblers. Now my boys here are going to take care of you.

Hell goes for his sword. Katana laughing grabs him.

KATANA
(laughing)

Don't worry about it, Alex. We've got Megami here. She'll send 'em all back to Hell, with a wave of her hand.

HELL

Really? Cool.

Hell goes and puts his arm around Megami

HELL

Do your stuff, babe.

Megami looking very worried. She disappears. Hell is left with no one in his arm. Katana looks at Hell. Hell looks at Katana.

Katana shrugs.

KATANA

Oh, well...


HELL

Hasta la vista, baby.

Lucas unleashes his vampires.

LUCAS

Low Fat, Chow Mein, get 'em!

Two of Lucas's men look at one another a bit confused but run to fight anyway.


LUCAS

Suki Aki, Teri Aki, go!

(BEAT)

Kim She, Blue Mo Gee, kill!

A fight happens with Hell and Katana becoming victorious.

Lucas walks through his men laying on the ground looking disgusted.

HELL

Looks like its over, Lucas. The keys if you please.

LUCAS

Not yet, Hell. You may have had my woman, but your not going to get my castle.

Lucas pulls out a golden stake.

Katana is obviously shaken.

LUCAS
First it’s you, Katana. Then you, Hell.


HELL

Come on, man, with what? That?

KATANA

Where did you get that?

LUCAS

Hell, of course. Now that I am the keeper of the gate...

HELL

So what, man. It’s just a stake. Let's go kick his ass.

Hell begins to walk forward, Katana holds him back.

KATANA

That’s not just a stake, Alexander. It's the mythical golden stake.

HELL

And, So...

LUCAS

Go ahead, Katana, tell him about it.

KATANA

If it’s stabbed into a Vampire, he goes to bloodless Hell forever.

HELL

Sounds like your problem, man; not mine.

LUCAS

Go ahead,

(winking)

Tell him what it does to a human, male...

KATANA (hesitant)

It sends them to the Hell of no women.


Katana stares at Hell


KATANA (CONT)

Of which there is no exit.

HELL

Oh, man, un cool.

LUCAS

Now, I will send you two, to your own worst, Hell.

Lucas begins to run at Katana. Hell sticks his leg out and trip Lucas. He falls and the stake goes through his Lucas's heart.

HELL

Oh, you mean something like that?

(Hell smiles, looks at Katana)

Let's get out of here man.

FADE OUT:

THE ZEN