The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive


I was having brunch, (or whatever you want to call it), with a friend of mine today. Doing some day drinking. You know how it goes. We were talking about life and love and god and all of that kind of good stuff, when he brought up this one guy that we both know. “Doesn’t that guy just piss you off,” he asked.
You see, here’s the thing… Yes, that guy in question could be a bit of an asshole, at times. Yes, he did have the tendency to screw people over, every now and then. But, the sad fact of life is, sure we all want all of the people we associate with to be good and kind and caring and giving and all of that… But sometimes, that’s just not the way it is. For business or for life or for whatever, sometimes we need to deal with all kinds of people. Even some of those that we may not like one hundred percent of the time.
My friend went on to remind me and to talk about how that guy had screwed him over this one time. Then, he brought up a time when the guy did me dirty. The big difference was, and this is what I interjected, “He tried to make right what he had done to me.”  From that simply act, sure, I had previously lost a large amount of trust in the guy, but he tried to fix what he had broken. He tried to make it right. That, in and of itself, set our whole relationship on a different course.
My friend had been left out in the cold. All he had was the bad memories created by what that guy had originally done. But me, what could I do but forgive?
Think about your own life. Think about the people who have done something negative to you. How do you hold their memory in your mind? You probably have some ill will.
Now, think about someone who did something to you that you considered wrong. If they tried to fix what they had broken, how did that change your opinion about them?
The thing is, most people pass through their life based upon a very selfish life perspective. You can always know an individual who is based in this mindset by viewing how they deal with others. Listen to them. Hear their stories. Look at what they’ve done to others. View how they treat people and how they treat you.
The fact is, you can avoid many a life calamity simply by charting what is to come and steering clear before it comes to pass.   
But, as stated, sometimes you need to allow certain people into your life, even though you know what may occur. If they screw you over, that’s not good, but it is predictable. On the other hand, if they do something bad but then try to fix it, that shows that they actually care and want to make things right. Then what?
Now, and even more importantly, who have you hurt in your life? What have you done to fix that damage. If you’ve done nothing, what does that say about you?
My friend can’t really forgive because the guy did nothing to repair what he had done. Me, all I can do is give the guy another chance, as he tried to right his wrong.
Think about your life. Think about what people have done to you. Think about what you have done to others. What are
you doing to make your wrongs right?