The Scott Shaw Blog Be Positive

The People That Hold You Back

Your life is defined by the choices you make. It is as simple as that. You make a choice, and you must live with the consequences: good or bad. There is no one to blame but yourself.
Yes, there are those times and those people who invade your life space. From this/from them you may be hurt, damaged, or have your planned evolution disrupted. But, even in those cases, if you look beyond the obvious, you most likely made a choice to be in the situation where they/where it was encountered.
Your life is also lived and defined by availability. You can only choose from what you can choose from. From this, and because of this, some people possess a vast array of more positive possibilities than do others. Where they are born, where they live, the class of life they find themselves born into, all set a course of events into motion that lead to the set of life circumstances and life choices a person can make.
In life, we all choose to associate with other people. Again, the choice(s) of whom we associate with is defined by availability. We can only choose from what we are allowed to choose from.
As we pass through life, we will each look back to the people we associated with and we will conclude whether or not they became a good and a positive element to our life, providing room for growth and/or opportunity, or just the opposite.
Some people we choose to associate with come into our life and guide us down a dark road leading to unwanted events. The thing is, most of these definitions are realized after the fact. It is only when we look back that we conclude whether a person was good for us or not.
Sure, there are a lot of variables in all relationships. There is a little bit of good combined with a little bit of bad, and vice versa. Some relationships are truly good. We look back and only remember the benefit(s). There are also the very bad relationships. We look back and only feel regret. As stated, most are somewhere in the middle, however.
The thing is, and this is something that most people never seem to consciously realize, the moment you meet someone, or at least soon after that fact, you can tell what type of person they are. You can surmise if they are a good, positive person or if they are just opposite. Sure, some people lie and pretend. But, even with that style of person, if you open your eyes, it is pretty easy to see through their illusion. You simply have to be present in your moment, not allow yourself to be taken in by physical or psychological illusion, and see who and what they truly are.
Many people look back to the person that threw some sort of a road block in their life and they blame them for all that came after that fact. But, who chose to hang out with that individual in the first place? Answer: It was a choice made by you.
This is the same with someone who has helped your life. Though, most probably, you look to them with fonder regards, so you do not attribute the level of negativity that you feel about that other type of individual.
Here is the fact, the fact that few people wish to acknowledge, you chose to associate with whomever you chose to associate with, defined by what availability was present to you. The result may have been good. The result may have been bad. But, it was you who made the choice to associate with that individual, leading to whatever it is that happened next. Good or bad, stop blaming anyone but yourself.