Don’t you hate it when you’ve done nothing wrong but the person who has done something wrong blames you or gets mad at you for what they have done?
 
I’m sure we’ve all gone through situations like that. I know I have. And, though I have tried and tried to understand what was the motivation of that other individual, I come up blank. They are just doing what they are doing based upon something that is lodged only in their own mind.
 
I had one of those situations occur to me today. I was driving along, and I come up behind a rather junky blue BMW and the driver is basically totally stopped at a stop sign. I’m guess his eyes were locked on his phone, doing whatever it was he was doing, and he didn’t realize or care that there are other people in the world. I give it a few seconds, and then give a friendly honk of my horn. Instead of doing what most of us would do, as we all have been in that situation, and give a little wave of, “Sorry,” and drive on, the guy finally starts to drive off, but he does so at like zero miles an hour, just to instigate the situation farther. Please… As I grab the other lane and drive past his very slow-going car, he looks out his open window and give me one of those hard stares, like it was me who had done something wrong. Of. Course, this makes me laugh. And, like I always say, “You better know who you’re dealing with before you break hard on them.”
 
Anyway, had it been any normal situation, he would have driven on, and I would have driven on. The situation would have totally been forgotten in a moment or two. But, due to his behavior, here it is, locked in this blog forever.
 
It’s kind of like I had to go to a funeral this past weekend. It used to be that I had a rule, “No weddings and no funerals.” Why? Weddings are such a waste. People spend all of that time, all of that energy, and all of that money creating these big affairs. Then, a few years deep, they get divorced, they hate each other, and one or the other of them gets totally fucked over financially and has to turn over the house, the car, and pay them alimony or palimony forever. Man, the karma in all of that!
 
Funerals, I just do not like to celebrate death, as it is always not in a positive way, but always dug so deep in sorrow and remorse.
 
That used to be my rule, but then you get dug in deep with a partner who has a big family, who you know, and there is no way out. No excuse that can be made. You are expected to be there.
 
Anyway… It was kind of like the eulogy at this funeral… The daughter was crying as she spoke, questioning why her father had to suffer so much when he was such a good parent. The man died of lung cancer which had apparently metastasized to his mouth and gums and stuff. And, I understand, that is a hard, fucked up way to die. I guess he went through a lot of chemo and stuff. But, he was a smoker. Didn’t he bring all that on himself?
 
I mean, yes, we can feel sympathy for the man and his family. But, wasn’t it him who chose to create the situation that caused him to suffer and then to die?
 
And, I guess this brings us to the root in all of this, what fault is yours in whom you blame? What did you do to cause it? Or, what didn’t you do to cause it?
 
Few people are honest with themselves. Few people are real with themselves. They want to blame all of the out there. But, when you are the one to blame, who else is to blame? If what is occurring is based upon what you did, who can you blame but you?  
 
So, think about this the next time you are casting blame, especially when it is blame that you are casting for something that you created. Think about this the next time someone blames you for what they did. Because no matter how much someone wants to shift the blame, there is always one person who is truly at fault.

Be real with yourself, when you are at fault. And mostly, don’t let others drag you into their melodrama when they are the one who did that something wrong. Don’t let them blame you when you are not the one to blame.