I believe that for each of us, there's been times in our lives when somebody says something really messed up to us or maybe even does something pretty fucked up to us and we don't really know how to respond. Sure, there's those times when somebody does one of those things, and we come back at them like a hurricane. But, those things kind of do not settle in our mind and make us question why. It's the other times, when somebody attacks us, and we don't immediately respond for any plethora of reasons. Those are the situations that somehow seem to haunt us. We probably all have been there; right?
 
 
I know in my own life, there's been a couple of times when people have said some pretty fucked up things to me, and, as they were unleashed by a female, (and me being a gentleman), I just did not respond. That's not to say that they didn't bother me. Mostly, because what they were saying was based in complete attack orientated falsehoods. They obviously didn’t even really know me, what I am, or who I am. But, as a man should never come at a woman, it's better just to eat your pride. This being said, that does not mean that what they said didn't bother me and didn't deserve a response. In fact, they should have gotten a big, “Fuck you.” But sometimes that's just not the answer or the way things go.
 
Of course, there's other times when somebody comes at you and you just don't know the right way to respond. Something stops you from coming back at them. Those situations are always the ones that seemed to cast a deep etching in the samskara of the brain.
 
The great sitarist and musician, Anoushka Shankar, recently spoke about how an overzealous fan recently came up to her after a show and he was so enthusiastic that he hugged her and picked her up off the ground. She details that, at least in part, due to the fact that she is a survivor of sexual assault in her youth, that she didn't really have the toolkit to stop that from happening, even though she knew she should.
 
It's one of those things in life, that even though some things are not necessarily ill intentioned, they still leave a negative lasting effect on the person who they were unleashed upon.
 
I remember a time at my mother-in-law's funeral, who had died from COVID-19 just before the vaccine was released. The funeral took place nearing the end of the pandemic. Back then, it would take upwards of a year to even get a funeral to happen because so many people had died and the funeral halls and the cemeteries were all booked. In any case, when my mother-in-law's funeral finally took place, there's this Korean tradition where the close family members to the deceased go up near the coffin and the rest of the participants of the funeral will walk by offering condolences and perhaps shaking the hand of the family members and/or something like that. My wife's sister had invited some of her coworkers to the funeral. Why the hell she did that, I have no understanding. I thought it was really fucking stupid as none of them had even met the lady. But, that's just me. Now, I was supposed to be standing up there in the line, but due to the whole COVID thing still going on and due to my dislike for the entire funeral process, and all of that kind of stuff, I just sat back in the audience even though family members kept prodding me to go up there. The thing is, I remember being up in that line when my father-in-law died, it was really a weird, weird thing to have all those people, most of which you don't even know, come by and wishing you the best. Strange! Anyway, this one Hispanic guy, who worked with my sister-in-law, walked up to my wife and hugged her. Hugged her, before she even had the chance to push him away. Just grabbed her. There was a part of me that was about to go up there and knock the motherfucker out. Doing something like that is just wrong! That's just fucked up! My wife got very, very upset about that man doing that. She told her sister. Her sister apologized, saying that's just the way that guy is. But, that does not take away the assault. Not dissimilar to what happened to Anushka Shankar. The intention may not have been negative, but the repercussions are. But, in certain situations, what can you do? You can only contemplate what you should have done. I don't like to be touched by people I don't know either.
 
So, here we are in life. Most of it goes by without a hitch. We do what we do, and life progresses, until we are no more. But, in that time span, there will be situations where things happen to us that we should have responded one way, but for whatever reason we did nothing.
 
The main thing is, in all doing, there is karma created. In everything you say; whether it is positive and/or negative, you are setting some set of feelings and some set of reaction into motion. It is for this reason that for those of us who walked the path of consciousness, we must always be so aware of what we are doing to others and how it may affect them.
 
No matter what we may feel: whether it's exuberance, joy, or pity, we must never cross the line and do something that will make another person feel uncomfortable. It's for this reason that I always say, you must always check your words before you ever say them. You must always check your actions before you ever do them.
 
There are so many unconscious people out there in the world who do things based in a lack of refined consciousness. And, I'm not even talking about the people who intentionally say words and do things that hurt people. Anybody who lives on that level, we all understand, is just a fucked up human being and we should stay away from them. Because negative is only negative. This being said, there's this another level of reality where our actions, no matter how non-hurtful we may believe them to be, may actually negatively affect that other person. Then what becomes of the reality you have set into motion?
 
Always think before you do. Because what you do, may be interpreted in a totally different way than you personally intended it. Never say anything negative about anybody. Never cross a person's boundaries without their invitation. Be better than that!
 
Don't create any situation where a person remembers what you did based in your actions of negativity and contemplates, (perhaps forever), what they should have done in response.